Best of Bless Your Heart
The Daily Reflector
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Today we pay tribute and say “thank you” to the contributors of our bellwether column Bless Your Heart. In a required length of 60 words or fewer, BYH writers offer criticism, humor, advice and appreciation about all kinds of topics. As one contributor said, “I have been in therapy for years, but my therapist makes a lot less sense than the Bless Your Heart column. The BYH column makes me realize that many of your readers have the same problems and thoughts as I. Which makes us a pretty rum lot, but we do what we can.”
Here are some of our favorites from 2017. Enjoy!
BYH to the entire staff of The Daily Reflector, putting out a quality product all year long, informing and involving the community, and I include the home delivery staff, as well. May you and your families have a wonderful 2017!
Bless the New Year. We have much to look forward to in Greenville. A new downtown theater and a footbridge over the Tar River. And more potholes.
BYH, tweets are the comments from twits. If you really think you can make a significant remark on global issues in 140 characters, it simply means you don't have that much to say.
BYH to the DR reader who got a dictionary for Christmas and gets to use their new “bash Trump” words. You must be so proud!
BYH to the gentleman who helps the children cross the road on Red Banks in front of Aycock. For the last year or so I have noticed how helpful, polite and fair he is to students and cars. I truly appreciate him in my morning commute.
BYH to the good Samaritan who did a tremendous favor for two cyclists following an accident near Eastern Pines. Both of us received ambulance rides to Vidant. She collected our gear and bicycles and dropped it all off to the Bicycle Post. The manager there graciously stored our stuff until we were able to pick it up. Can't thank you both enough.
BYH. Why shouldn't bicycles be required to have license plates? They want all the "rights" of the road but not any of the responsibility.
BYH, columnists, reporters, and editorial writers. When you refer to controlling a leader’s actions, the phrase is “rein in,” not “reign in.” As a rider uses the reins to “rein in” a runaway horse, a ruler uses his royal prerogative to “reign in” his country. And of course, American citizens should “rein in” any elected official who attempts to “reign” in our democratic nation.
BYH, if you just got back from a year-long retreat, here is a quick summary of what you missed: Alternative facts. Fake news. Russian connections. Obstruction of justice. Flynn lies, “Flynn, you're fired.” Sessions: “I recuse myself” (or do I?). “Would you call off the dogs, Comey? No? You're fired, and watch what you say. I might have a tape.” “My memo trumps your tape.” Impeachment? Stay tuned. To be continued.
When we are together, my love, you keep looking at your phone and I get the feeling there is someone else in your life more important than I. Tell me and let me go. You have captured my heart, but your heart is obviously in your phone. I cannot go on being second in your life to your phone. Who is it who has stolen your heart away? Sad in Greenville.
If all that Nathan Summers is catching are sharks and skates, then he needs some new bait. Try some day-old collards or some of the DR editorials. That smell should bring in some game fish for sure.
Two of three of my kids came to see me on Father’s Day. Of course the two who came wanted to borrow money and the third was too hung over. But at least it quieted down after they left and my wife went to see her boyfriend.
BYH to Greenville Little League's North State team, coaches, families, fans and financial supporters. Thank you all for your part in making Greenville so proud! Congratulations!
Yesterday my five-year-old asked me what “literally” meant. I tried my best to explain it to him. He thought for a few seconds then told me, “I literally have no idea what you are talking about.” I didn’t know how to respond.
Bless my heart. I told my psychiatrist I was hearing voices; he told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.
The sign in the doctor’s waiting room said to go back up to the check-in counter if you have not been called back within 30 minutes of your appointment. So I went up to the check-in and the young lady said to check back again in 30 minutes. I think the sign is probably a way to keep us moving so as not to get blood clots in the legs.
Bless Your Heart to the teachers whose daily goal is to make a kid smile. I thank you!
The firemen came to my house recently and saved my life. There were all kinds of people involved, and I would like to thank them.
BYH to the footbridge and the future of Greenville. Move over Boomers and Gen-Xers. The Milleninials are here to stay. Either keep up or fade away; you’re getting old.
Bless our hearts. People born in the 1950s have lived in seven different decades, two different centuries and two different millenniums. We had the best music, the fastest cars, drive-in theaters and soda fountains. And we are not even that old yet. We are just that cool.
BYH to those who think being old means you are inactive or need a cane. I hope when you hit 70 you can still play basketball at the new gym.
Bless your heart to people who enjoy the Brook Valley cut-through. Did you realize there is another great short cut which is located in Cherry Oaks? This will take you from Fire Tower to Portertown and the view is very scenic. Only drawback is you don’t get that uppity-up sensation like you do in Brook Valley.
The Brook Valley shortcut features a lovely golf course which Cherry Oaks does not have. I am sure Cherry Oaks is nice, but driving through Brook Valley offers a respite from the daily grind. Watching the golfers relaxes me and makes me want to work hard so that I can someday play golf.
The Tightwad Tipper hears your pleas for economic sanity. Today’s tip: Servers, stay in school and learn the difference between working and begging. Remember, the customer is not your employer. We owe you nothing. Your employer is who is supposed to pay you. Not that hard. Not so sincerely, The Tightwad Tipper.
How ignorant of you, Tightwad Tipper. Anyone who goes out to eat should have enough education to know that wait staff gets paid much less than minimum wage and they depend on tips to make up the difference. If you don’t want to pay to be “waited” on, then you should use a drive-through and take your meal home. Instead of the wait staff needing to be educated, I think you better look in the mirror. Bless your heart to those who wait on these people.
Will we be able to fish from the new pedestrian bridge over the Tar River? It would be nice to have a lower deck for fishing. Hopefully, it will be ready before the next run of bluefin tuna.
Read “Snoopy” first thing in the morning and get rid of all your angst. I guarantee a smile and happy feeling. Bless your heart.
For the price of the church monument at the Town Common we could build a very nice real church. Wonder what Jesus would do? Editor’s response: He’d probably speak to the multitudes at the amphitheater, feed them bread and fish and baptize them in the Tar River at the boat landing.
What would Jesus do? I agree with The Daily Reflector. Jesus would speak to the multitudes, feed them and baptize them in The Tar River. If He were willing to turn water into wine, I would definitely make it a point to be there.
Bless my Yankee neighbor’s heart for blowing all of his leaves into my yard, blaming my dogs for being loud, and being belligerent. Dogs bark. Get over it. Go back to the North where you belong. And your bushes are impeding my ability to get out of my driveway.
I had to laugh at the antics of the individual’s Yankee neighbor. My neighbor on one side brings me a variety of vegetables out of his garden. The fellow across the street will offer me a cold beer on a hot day. I don’t think I am inclined to trade houses with the person writing to BYH.
Please send thank you notes! You Southerners claim to have good manners, yet you don’t teach your daughters to thank people for the wedding gifts and the baby shower gifts.
Why do we play the national anthem at sports events? These teams aren’t playing for the USA. Play your alma mater or perhaps something not political and leave the anthem for Independence Day, Flag Day, Memorial Day and Veterans Day. And then play it at the Olympics when someone is actually playing for the USA.
Bless your heart and thank you very much to the gentleman who paid for my coffee at Starbucks. What a lovely surprise! I will pay it forward. Thanks again.
Went to a Halloween party and there was this younger-looking lady wearing a low-cut blouse and wearing a lot of makeup. I asked her what she was dressed as and she replied, "A trophy wife." Good work, I guess, if you can get it.
BYH, East Carolina. Why is your Pirate ship sinking? Your captain and his first mates are weak. When you’re in the middle of a crisis, the leadership must lead. Hiding out shows the crew your inability to steer the ship and you may end up waking the plank!
Coach Montrgomery and other ECU football staff members, players and Jeff Compher, good luck the remainder of the season. Honestly, to me, you are winners just for enduring all the unnecessary abusive comments by so many. I have my opinion of who the losers are and it is not you!
I see where the Boy Scouts will start admitting girls. That is a way to get more boys interested in going on a camping trip. I shared a pup tent with an ol’ gal from New York one night up on a cold mountaintop. I don’t think she was a Girl Scout, but she could warm your heart.
I installed one of those video cameras on my doorbell and it actually works. Now I can see who I am ignoring. It gives more satisfaction not to answer the door now that I can see the faces of my family and friends.
Bless our hearts, in today's world there are few things that most people agree about, but in Greenville there is unanimous agreement that the timing/cycling of our traffic lights is abysmal. Other cities can figure this out, why can't our city leaders and traffic officials do so? So much wasted time and energy just sitting.
BYH to the GOP: the administration is lifting the ban on importing elephant tusks into the United States. The irony is that the elephant is the symbol of the party. Shooting this magnificent animal is akin to the GOP shooting itself in the foot several times a day.
BYH to irony. We spend billions of dollars looking for life on other planets and we spend trillions killing life on this one.
Bless Your Heart to all of the men and women who join the military and serve this country. You are appreciated.
The police earn my respect for putting their lives on the line each day.
BYH to the dentists everywhere! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
BYH to all the farmers of this country and, indeed, the world. They are the ones who put food on our plates. You people who have gardens and grow your own food, BYH, too, for different reasons.
Bless my heart, I’m a non-practicing vegan.
Bless your heart to good friends who support healthy habits and positive thinking. Thanks for you encouragement in 2017! What a difference our friends make.
Bless your heart to the person's posting on Dec 29. You wrote about the bicyclist running the red light, the barking dog pooping in the yard with Jimmy Carter for President and last, but not least, about the Brook Valley cut-through. I laughed and laughed! Thank you for such humor! Made me think about how BYH used to be. Happy New Year and hope you write some more funny things.
Happy New Year to one and all! I love you! Bless your heart!
Directed at Daily Reflector
Unsure of Category