Stop printing EBT cards and illegal immigration ceases to exist. Global warming would take a hit too....

Jan. 2 Bless Your Heart


Tuesday, January 2, 2018

The online poll asked if I was going to spend 2018 improving myself. At my age I am slipping away faster than any improvement I might make. The preacher and I are trying to hold on for all I am worth without slipping backward.

BYH to the ECU sports promotion, “No Quarter.” We think the best use of this flag is flying it over Aldi's shopping carts. ARRRRGH!

BYH Phil Berger Jr., son of North Carolina Senate Leader Phil Berger Sr., for being stopped from selling us local yokels down the Blounts Creek river. Stay in polluted Industrial Greensboro and come no farther east than Raleigh.

BYH. To sum up last year: I will build a great wall, and Mexico will pay for it. OK, U.S. taxpayers will pay for it. Why make nukes if not to use them? This is the calm before the storm. I will unleash fire and fury unlike the world has ever seen. Tiki torch Nazis, or as Trump calls them, 'fine people.' Rocket man. “I'm the only one that matters.”

BYH ECU basketball and football. What a dubious honor to be the worst teams at the highest level in the nation. At successful schools they call these "revenue sports." Go figure.

BYH to JPII Catholic high school for being the only Pitt County high school included in the Advanced Placement District Honor Roll for 2015-2017. Good work teachers and students!

Bless your hearts to the doctors and drug companies for turning us into a nation of stoners hooked on opioids. And now you want everyone in the world to be hooked on blood pressure medication. Could your real motivation be to line your wallets?

Bless your heart to the person who submitted the idea that we all gather as Americans and sing patriotic songs and display our nationalism. Yeah, great idea! Given the current political climate, I have the perfect location for this rally: A tiny town deep in the heart of a rural red-state area in Pennsylvania called Nuremberg.

BYH to the new City Council. With property manager Mayor PJ Connelly leading the charge, I wonder if they will have the guts to stand up to all slum lords violating the three-unrelated policy in the TRUNA neighborhood. PJ will probably just protect his landlord buddies.

BYH to the sports editor. The most successful coach in ECU history retires and no mention in the year in review? Coach Kobe you haven't been forgotten by your swimmers.

BYH to those wanting a bike rack at Barnes & Noble. I want to know who these people are as child services obviously need to be called because who in their right mind would want their kid anywhere near Greenville Boulevard on a bike?

BYH ECU Police. A daylight robbery right at your front door, or was it your back. Guess all the ECU patrol cars were in the officers’ private drives taking care of business.

Send contributions using the Bless Your Heart box on reflector.com, by emailing to blessyourheart@reflector.com or by calling 252-329-9564.