It had to happen. The DR is obviously censoring the BYH submissions so that the posts now are boring, staid and droll....

Aug. 31 Bless Your Heart


Saturday, August 31, 2019

BYH, two men walk into a bar and the first man orders an H2O. The second man orders H2O, too. The second man dies.

We love chemistry jokes. 

BYH, for those who believe, no proof is necessary. For those who don't believe, no proof is possible.

No bless your heart to the person who keeps stealing the same political sign on the corner of Alma Lee and Fire Tower. I replace it as soon as you take it. So far, six times. This is not the way to win an election honorably. You know who you are. The opposing candidate's sign is right next to it and if it gets blown over by the wind, I straighten it up. Shape up people! You should be ashamed of yourself.

Looking forward to ECU Pirate Football. Not the won-loss record but to see how much money the program will lose this year. My wife is terrible with spending money but I really think she can help the team. She was an All-State tight end.

Bless my heart! I am so tired of all the hype about ECU football. I will be very happy after the first two games of this season are on the books ... no matter who wins.

Bless the heart of the person that wants to enshrine the mayor, football coach, and chancellor, you are spot on my friend!

Bless our hearts! Why is JPII announcer trying to blast the local residents out of their homes during the football game?

BYH, I applaud Trump's effort to deport all immigrants. I happen to be of Cherokee heritage, so I would love to see all you descendants of European immigrants sent back to where you came from. Good riddance!

BYH, I heard two old men sitting at the bar, griping about politics. I actually heard one say, "Liberals. They want to raise our wages, protect our jobs ... have cheaper and better health care, safeguard Social Security, and have a more livable environment. Don't even get me started about protecting our planet ..." True story.

Bless the hearts of those who simultaneously believe that Trump is a fascist and should confiscate modern guns.

I read in the DR that McDonald's has lost business over the last few years and I know why! The changed their ketchup! BYH Micky Ds, go back to Heinz, you will get your business back.

Can we please put out more “Caution Deer” signs? Right smack in the city by the university with all this traffic are a lot of deer ... if you won't give us pedestrians a chance, can you at least give the deer a chance?

Thank you for pointing out the local grocery store that dropped our true Southern Grits. An abomination and designed to rob us of our heritage. It is a slap in the face like serving unsweetened tea. Let us join together and organize a march! Our banner will read, "Yankee grits are the Devil's workshop."

Send contributions using the Bless Your Heart box on reflector.com or by emailing to blessyourheart@reflector.com.