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BYH, watching this administration is like watching a mob movie....

Sept. 15 Bless Your Heart

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Sunday, September 15, 2019

I was a Democrat in the old days when we drank Jack Daniels and had pig pickin's at district meetings. But I had to switch when they went to those fancy coffees, tofu and bagels. You deserted me, I didn't desert you.

Marketwatch reports that soon you can buy or sell a home as easily as buying or selling a stock. Of course this would put the Realtors out of business. What a shame. What a crying shame. Now on to the cable company.

Rep. Murphy won the election which clearly shows that eastern North Carolina is not yet ready for socialism. Not only did Dr. Murphy win but so did those who love America.

BYH Greg Murphy. I hope you keep your political appointments better than you kept your medical ones!

My wife said if she caught me in flagrante delicto she would divorce me. I guess I am safe on that one. Mexican restaurants hurt my stomach.

There was no cashier around so I used the self-check. As I was leaving the store I kept waiting for the security guard to body slam me or either use the taser. I am not too computer friendly but I think I paid for most items. If I missed scanning an item will it keep me out of Heaven? If the self-check scanner an apostate of hell?

Is there not just a touch of irony that we can all see the heat going up and weather getting weirder with more flooding, yet we continue to destroy by development and build bigger roads? Maybe we should take a long-term approach and protect our lives by protecting trees and rivers over cars and trucks. Bless our oil addicted hearts!

At work I have employees come to me with marital problems. I automatically send them to my preacher. Now he is complaining that I am sending too many. "Send them to the Presbyterian guy. He makes more money than me. Here's a handful of his cards. They are even better quality than mine."

Many of us struggle with the meaning of life and what is our purpose here on earth. I think mine is driving the speed limit and irritating those following me. They are further irritated because I drive a hybrid car without a coexist sticker. Daddy always said no matter what your job you should do it well.

I see where one fast food restaurant is developing a robot to take your order through the drive-thru. I have been looking for one of those robots to take the place of my wife but none that are available offer 24 hour nagging. Most of them speak Chinese so I do not know if they are nagging or calling me unspeakable names.

BYH, privilege is saving Confederate statues because they are “historic,” but bulldozing through ancient sites and artifacts for pipelines.

Send contributions using the Bless Your Heart box on reflector.com or by emailing to blessyourheart@reflector.com.

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