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Storm: A song in my heart, a musical in my living room


Einsteing sings his signature tune to an unlucky squirrel.


By Janet Storm

Sunday, May 13, 2018

I’ve been watching a lot of musicals lately. They do my heart good. There is something both ridiculous and uplifting about imagining a world where everyone is always bursting into song.

When I say “someone,” I don’t mean myself. I haven’t any vocal talent. If I was transported to the land of musicals, I would be relegated the the background and instructed to nod and smile without opening my mouth.

Even so, I sometimes sing to my to little dogs, Ollie and Einstein, who don’t seem to mind my lack of ability (dogs are very forgiving in that way). Since I am on a musical bent, I have been composing songs for them that consisted of popular show tunes with new lyrics. I will be all set if Hollywood ever decides to make “Storm: The musical!” Here are a few samples:

Einstein’s solo — ode to a squirrel

(Sung to the tune of “You’ll Never Get Away from Me” from Gypsy)

You’ll never get away from Einie — you can climb the tallest tree

I’ll catch you somehow!

True, you may think, “He’s on a leash!

I’m completely out of reach!” 

But squirrel, I vow —

I’ll never back away from you, even though you want me to

So go on and try!

Just try — Mr. Squirrel — and you’re gonna see,

How you’re gonna not at all get away from Einie!

Ollie’s solo — Lunch, glorious munch

(Sung to the tune of “Food, glorious food” from Oliver)

Lunch, glorious munch! 

Ollie can’t wait to eat you.

I love you a bunch.

No playtime could beat you.

Tasty kibble or chicken bites, they are so delightful —

when I get the dish in my sights, my howling is frightful!

Lunch, glorious munch

You make life worth living

When my teeth start to crunch 

My heart is forgiving! 

Don’t ask silly questions now — I’m not in the mood —

I want lunch, glorious munch, give me my food! Give me my food!

Mommy’s solo — Bless your adorable rumps

(Sung to the tune of “Bless Your Beautiful Hide” from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers)

Bless your adorable rumps, you’re just the boys for me

Jump in my lap and take a nap

That suits me to a T.

You’re furry and sweet and quite petite,

With heavenly eyes, you’re quite the prize! 

Bless your adorable rumps, you’re just the boys for me

Now let’s go out and run about so you can take a pee!

Ollie and Einstein’s big finale — Belly rubs

(Sung to the tune of “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Miserables)

I dream a dream of belly rubs,

They are so sweet they leave me swooning —

I stick my legs up like four stubs

My sighs of ecstasy ballooning.

No, don’t stop I beg of you — this happy dream is just beginning.

I cannot vouch for what I’ll do if you break this streak of winning.

No, no don’t walk away 

You have to stay!

Don’t kill the belly rub dream I dreamed!

Contact Janet Storm at jstorm@reflector.com or 252-329-9587.