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BYH: To our public schools. You claim to balance the schools racially. I think you are doing a poor job at this. W.H....

Feb. 11 Short Answers

Short Answers
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Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, February 11, 2018

ADOLESCENCE REDUX

Dear Short Answers: My father has recently started to make very politically incorrect comments in public. I think he believes that he’s being funny rather than offensive, but not everybody sees it this way. He’s been a liberal his whole life so I don’t think he’s being racist or sexist — just insensitive. I’ve asked him nicely to stop it, but he laughs it off. Should I continue to let him get away with this or take a harder line (which might or might not work)? — Uncomfortable

Dear U: Although we have great empathy for you, it has been our experience that censoring parents meets with unsatisfactory outcomes. Perhaps if you tell him he is hurting his “image” in his community you may be more effective — but maybe not. If not, you need to remind yourself (once again) that he is not you.

CUT THE CRAP

Dear Short Answers: I was invited to a dinner party at the home of someone I really can’t stand. I know that dinner parties are a lot of work, and I feel guilty about accepting. Should I make up an excuse not to go so that somebody else (someone who really likes the host) can take my place? — Reluctant

Dear Re: Go if you wanna go and don’t if you don’t — no guilt or elaborate excuses required. As far is we know, going to a dinner party only requires that you be pleasant and entertaining — not an oath of fealty.

VALUES

Dear Short Answers: A friend at work recently told me a bizarre story about something illegal that he had done. He laughed it off as a prank, but it’s been bothering me ever since. I’m not completely sure that it’s all true, but if it is, then laws were certainly broken. Would it be wrong to call the police and ask them to investigate? Can I do this anonymously? Or should I just forget the whole thing and pretend it was just a joke? — My Brother’s Keeper

Dear Bro:

If you think your friend is about to commit a crime such as assault, molestation or murder — then you should go to the police. In other circumstances, you might start with telling your friend you were not amused by his “prank” and that if he insists on telling you more, there may be consequences. And BTW — why do you refer to this person as your friend?

SMILE, NOD, PRESERVE MYSTERY

Dear Short Answers: Even though I just turned 50, it seems that younger men (I am gay) are starting to find me very attractive. Maybe it’s a “daddy” thing. Maybe I just look “distinguished” and “employed.” But what does it matter? Shouldn’t I just take advantage of it while it lasts and fool around as much as possible? My friends all tell me to be careful because these younger guys just want my money. I say “go for it!” What do you think? — Just Me

Dear Me: Feeling attractive and wanted is a beautiful thing. Enjoy it, treasure it, store the feeling for a rainy day. However, it need not translate to fooling around “as much as possible.” Just saying.

LIFE SKILLS 101

Dear Short Answers: What is happiness? — JOB

Dear JOB: Happiness is the capacity to be open to the joy around us. Extra happiness is the ability to help others do the same.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.

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Humans of Greenville

@HumansofGville

Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.

Look

August 13, 2018

Library events

Sheppard Memorial Library, 530 Evans St., will host the following events. Call Call 329-458.

■ Movie matinee, 1:30 p.m. Tuesday.

■ Board games family program, 10:30 a.m. Wednesday.

■ Bedtime story hour, 7 p.m. Thursday.

■ Baby and Me Story Hour, ages 18 months and younger,…

August 13, 2018

Pitt County Schools

Pitt County Schools' first day of school is Aug. 27. An open house will be held Aug. 23.

The schedule for open house is:

Elementary schools, 4-6:30 p.m.

K-8 schools and middle schools, 5-7:30 p.m.

High schools, 6-8:30 p.m.

St. Peter

A pre-kindergarten and kindergarten open house…

August 13, 2018

Several Pitt County 4-Her’s were among students honored during last month's State 4-H Congress in Raleigh.

This year’s 4-H Congress had more than 500 youth and their adult leaders participating in activities including oral presentations, leadership and citizenship workshops, state and…

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August 13, 2018

Chicod School’s Fiona Hollard was recognized by the Pitt County Board of Education at its Aug. 6 meeting for her selection to the Junior Eastern Regional Orchestra.

This is the highest honor for middle school orchestra, Daniel Walker, Chicod’s band and orchestra director, told the…

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August 12, 2018

Q I am stepfather to my wife’s only child, age 8, from her first marriage. My wife always and in every way puts her son before our marriage. We went through counseling several years ago and things got better for a while, but then began slipping back into child-comes-first mode. Believe me, we…

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August 12, 2018

Q I am a white atheist (raised Catholic), long-term dating a Pakistani-American agnostic (raised Muslim). In general, there is cultural pressure for Pakistani people to marry other Pakistanis, or at least within the faith, with no American-style dating allowed. Many mixed-faith relationships take…

Carolyn Hax

August 12, 2018

Bobby Dixon considers it a compliment when he takes one of his boats to the coast or to the Pamlico River and someone asks, “What year is it?”

A misguided compliment, but still flattering.

A better question would be “What years?” That’s because, for Dixon, boats are…

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August 12, 2018

IT’S NOT YOUR PARTY

Dear Short Answers: A very good friend is getting married in September. I just had a baby in June and she has said very clearly “no babies” at the wedding. My baby will be only 3 months old, and I don’t think this is fair! (I’m nursing.) What…

Short Answers

August 11, 2018

Botanists tend to be rather easy-going people, usually. They enjoy being outdoors on field trips and seeing interesting plants … and some botanists are known for an occasional and perhaps unusual sense of humor. My own long-suffering students, over the years, have been subjected, by me, to a…

081118mysteryplant

August 10, 2018

TODAY

‘Title of Show’

Whirligig Stage, 628 S. Pitt St., will present “Title of Show” at 7:30 p.m. today-Saturday and Aug. 17-18. Additional performances will be held at 7 p.m. Wednesday-Thursday, and matinee performances will be held at 2 p.m. Sunday and Aug. 19. Tony…

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