I see our "Doctor-In-the-House Murphy doesn't mind taking away individual rights to solve the opiod crisis that is the...

Short Answers March 4

Short Answers

Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, March 4, 2018


Dear Short Answers: My wife and I have had a miserable marriage since the beginning. In all honesty, the only reason we’ve stayed together at all is because of the sex (which is great). We were seriously talking about divorce, but then she just found out that she was pregnant. Would it be wrong to get a divorce before the baby is born? Or do you think we should stay together in case the baby changes our marriage? Maybe if we focus on a child instead of our problems, things will get better. — Filled with Doubts

Dear Doubts: A baby to save a marriage is hardly a unique idea, albeit a generally unsuccessful one. How about some marriage counseling before the baby is born? A good therapist and some good honest work on your relationship now is the very least you owe your child. A parenting course wouldn’t hurt either.


Dear Short Answers: I know that I shouldn’t have done it, but I sent some nude photos of myself to my boyfriend who posted them on Tumblr and almost everybody I know has seen them. Should I just ignore this humiliating experience and hope that it blows over? Or should I post an explanation on Facebook? I’m not sure what good it would do, but I feel I have to do something. — Really Embarrassed

Dear RE: Forget it. The less said the better.


Dear Short Answers: When my husband found out that regular light bulbs are no longer going to be sold in stores, he bought hundreds of them (and I literally mean hundreds) and is planning to sell them to friends in order to make a huge profit. He hasn’t started to do this yet, but I am already humiliated beyond belief. How do I convince him that this is a really stupid, really embarrassing idea? — Horrified

Dear H: We agree, very embarrassing. Tell him to get it done with one online transaction.


Dear Short Answers: My husband and I were invited to a cocktail and dessert party last week that began at 9 p.m. It seemed rather late to us, but we decided to go anyway. When we arrived at 9:01, we were greeted by 12 people sitting around a dinner table finishing their meal. Apparently, the “in group” was invited to dinner and the riff-raff were invited just for dessert. Doesn’t that seem just a bit rude to you? — Miffed

Dear M: Perhaps there were extenuating circumstances that dictated this situation. But as you tell it, we would indeed be quite offended. “Class A” and “Class B” invitations to a private party is an egregious breach of etiquette. Think twice about your next invitation to this home.


Dear Short Answers: I am going on my first date tomorrow since I split with an ex of many years. I am filled with hope — and tidings of comfort and joy. Am I crazy? — A Believer

Dear Believer: Yep. You are crazy and wonderful and you are, in our opinion, likely to be very happy. We are happy for you no matter how it turns out.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.


Humans of Greenville


Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.


June 24, 2018

We should all force ourselves to take reflective retreats.

Since most of us just can’t or won’t do it, it’s a very good thing that our wonderful American system inevitably forces all of us into a tough “time in the wilderness.”

No ideological philosophy, no political…

Bob Garner

June 24, 2018

A column of mine that originally appeared in January 2017 has been circulating on the Internet ever since, accumulating over a million hits to date. In a nutshell, its message is simply that parents, not children, are the most important people in a family and the husband-wife relationship should…


June 24, 2018

Q I have a friend/neighbor who I see five days a week because we exercise together. One thing that annoys me is she always manages to slip some comment about God into every conversation. It’s usually a brief comment, not an entire conversation about religion, which makes it hard for me to…

Carolyn Hax

June 24, 2018

At Beaufort County’s Voice of America Game Lands, there are few reminders of what was here for half a century. More than 100 steel towers that marked the site are gone. The transmission building has been closed for a dozen years. The guard house is empty.

Today the place that delivered…


June 24, 2018

When I was in France recently, Anthony Bourdain, also in France working on his popular and influential food and culture program for CNN, took his life.

Bourdain was in one of his favorite regions, Alsace, which was controlled by Germany for 50 years until the end of World War I.

I was on the other…


June 24, 2018


Dear Short Answers:
 My boyfriend and I are getting married next year, and I couldn’t be happier. The problem is that I really don’t care what kind of wedding we are going to have, and he seems obsessed with it. Would it be too weird if I just let him plan everything? I…

Short Answers

June 23, 2018


■ Burney’s Chapel Free Will Baptist Church, 2628 VOA Site B Road, will have its annual women’s day service at 11 a.m. Sunday.

■ Clemon’s Grove Holiness Church, 3816 Sheppard Mill Road, Stokes, will have a women’s day service at 11 a.m. Sunday with Evangelist Maxine…

June 22, 2018

Q My fiance and I are getting married in my family’s hometown and my parents are hosting (and paying for) the wedding. My family are minimal drinkers though not opposed to some drinking. My fiance’s large extended family is accustomed to weddings with full open bars.

My parents’…

Carolyn Hax

June 22, 2018


Palace abuzz

Tryon Palace, 529 S. Front St., New Bern, is celebrating National Pollinator Week through Sunday. Free pollinator-themed events are sponsored by the Duke Energy Foundation. A pollinator garden tour will be held at 10 a.m. today. Tour the Palace gardens to see favorite pollinator…


June 22, 2018

Capsules of movies playing locally. New releases are indicated with an asterisk.

AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR — The Avengers and their allies must be willing to sacrifice everything in an attempt to defeat the powerful Thanos before his blitz of devastation and ruin puts an end to the universe.…

323 stories in Look. Viewing 1 through 10.
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