Short Answers March 4
Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson
Sunday, March 4, 2018
DEFINITELY WORTH A TRY
Dear Short Answers: My wife and I have had a miserable marriage since the beginning. In all honesty, the only reason we’ve stayed together at all is because of the sex (which is great). We were seriously talking about divorce, but then she just found out that she was pregnant. Would it be wrong to get a divorce before the baby is born? Or do you think we should stay together in case the baby changes our marriage? Maybe if we focus on a child instead of our problems, things will get better. — Filled with Doubts
Dear Doubts: A baby to save a marriage is hardly a unique idea, albeit a generally unsuccessful one. How about some marriage counseling before the baby is born? A good therapist and some good honest work on your relationship now is the very least you owe your child. A parenting course wouldn’t hurt either.
Dear Short Answers: I know that I shouldn’t have done it, but I sent some nude photos of myself to my boyfriend who posted them on Tumblr and almost everybody I know has seen them. Should I just ignore this humiliating experience and hope that it blows over? Or should I post an explanation on Facebook? I’m not sure what good it would do, but I feel I have to do something. — Really Embarrassed
Dear RE: Forget it. The less said the better.
THIS IS WHAT EBAY IS FOR
Dear Short Answers: When my husband found out that regular light bulbs are no longer going to be sold in stores, he bought hundreds of them (and I literally mean hundreds) and is planning to sell them to friends in order to make a huge profit. He hasn’t started to do this yet, but I am already humiliated beyond belief. How do I convince him that this is a really stupid, really embarrassing idea? — Horrified
Dear H: We agree, very embarrassing. Tell him to get it done with one online transaction.
WITHOUT FURTHER INFORMATION
Dear Short Answers: My husband and I were invited to a cocktail and dessert party last week that began at 9 p.m. It seemed rather late to us, but we decided to go anyway. When we arrived at 9:01, we were greeted by 12 people sitting around a dinner table finishing their meal. Apparently, the “in group” was invited to dinner and the riff-raff were invited just for dessert. Doesn’t that seem just a bit rude to you? — Miffed
Dear M: Perhaps there were extenuating circumstances that dictated this situation. But as you tell it, we would indeed be quite offended. “Class A” and “Class B” invitations to a private party is an egregious breach of etiquette. Think twice about your next invitation to this home.
LIFE IS WORTHWHILE IF YOU GIVE IT A GO
Dear Short Answers: I am going on my first date tomorrow since I split with an ex of many years. I am filled with hope — and tidings of comfort and joy. Am I crazy? — A Believer
Dear Believer: Yep. You are crazy and wonderful and you are, in our opinion, likely to be very happy. We are happy for you no matter how it turns out.
Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to firstname.lastname@example.org or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.