Loading...
BYH Greenville, we already have to wait 6 or 7 light cycles at Charles Blvd and Firetower and you want to add more high...

Bob Garner: Johnny one-note

Bob Garner

Bob Garner

Loading…

Sunday, May 13, 2018

I could make a case that no one has ever been more persistently argumentative than me.

Now I’m reaping what I’ve sowed, right there in the exact same weedy, thorny field known as Facebook. Yes, a troll is lurking, determined to exact a toll in the form of my agreement with his theories.

In my earlier enthusiasm, I used to imagine that “trolling” was one form of fishing for people. I’m only recently realizing that even without guile, it was more like trying to get them to “rise to the bait.”

The “luring” interpretation actually was how the term was used in the early days of social media. Then it changed to describe a malicious figure repeatedly demanding the tribute of assent.

It took me forever to catch on. God has a real sense of irony and humor, and I really have no choice but to laugh along with him. God, I mean, not the troll.

Ha-ha-ha.

An old Richard Rodgers-Lorenz Hart song called “Johnny One-Note” had lyrics no doubt drawn from an even older joke — the one about the fiddler who claimed all other musicians were only searching for the perfect note, while he had found it.

“Poor Johnny one-note, yelled willy nilly … Until he was blue in the face. For holding one note was his ace.”

I once heard an eminently sensible man say, “If someone asks, or the moment seems appropriate, state your position quietly, respectfully and briefly. Once. Don’t keep on about it until they seek more, because it doesn’t strengthen with repetition.”

In the military, a subordinate may express a position contrary to that of his superior officer or non-com up to a point. Beyond that, there may be a reputation for insubordination that gray-heads of the particular service will have to settle in some unpleasant manner.

The ones who figure out where that point lies become the gray-heads.

In civilian life, it’s usually wise to choose the quiet, subordinate position in both worldview and tactics. The last shall be first, and all that.

You don’t want the Scoutmaster thinking you’re arguing during a hike about who’s right and will thus achieve the greatest rank. Especially if the leader is too far ahead to hear you audibly … but somehow knows anyhow. He might ask you about it later around the campfire. Whoa!

To use another analogy, if there aren’t enough early common interests and views for someone to agree to go out with you, it makes little sense to keep asking them on dates using the same lines. News flash: THEY AREN’T GOING OUT WITH YOU. PERIOD!

Not now anyway. Find people to date who can grasp and appreciate what you’re saying at this moment in time. See whether relationships develop with any in particular. The person you asked out earlier may come around later, but if they do, it won’t be because you waited for them under that bridge.

Relationship is indispensable. Anything else is only creepy.

The perfect amount of salt adds wonderful savor to food. Using salt without care and restraint may preserve meat and other foods, but it will grievously harm you, to say nothing of ruining many budding relationships. The things preserved into ossification could be your opinions and attitudes.

Thoughtful, balanced discussion can throw a lot of light on most subjects. But if the tongue — the voltage regulator, if you will — isn’t working right, repetitive argument produces only damaging heat, not illumination.

“OK, your superior arguments have caused me to change my mind and come over to your side.”

Said no one ever. Ha-ha-ha.

Bob Garner is a UNC-TV restaurant reviewer, freelance food writer, author of four cookbooks, barbecue pit master and public speaker. Contact him at bgarner2662@gmail.com.

Loading…

Humans of Greenville

@HumansofGville

Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.

Look

January 16, 2019

Q I form oxalate stones. The only advice I had been given was to drink lots of water and I do drink about a gallon a day. A friend told me I should pay attention to the oxalate content of food. I really like grain products but have been told they might be giving me troubles. What do I need to know?…

Kolasa, Kathy

January 13, 2019

While I have been traveling up and down North Carolina’s roads in search of local eateries, UNC Law School professor Gene Nichol has been traveling the same roads looking for something else.

I was gathering material for my book, “North Carolina’s Roadside Eateries,” and…

DGMartin

January 13, 2019

The first mistake was opening the refrigerator door. I opened it silently, but it emits a silent sound unknown to science that only cats can hear. From under the bedcovers at the other end of the house. And they do not need to walk or run to the refrigerator to inspect what I'm doing. One second,…

JimMullen

January 11, 2019

As I write this review, it’s still up in the air whether Kevin Hart will host this year’s Academy Awards. He was picked because he’s funny, he’s a performer of color, and his star was on the ascendance.

But someone dug up old comments by Hart that were homophobic. The…

Upside

January 11, 2019

ARBA — Sybil Thomas is not your average “little old lady.”

Rather than bemoaning the aging process, she has walked right up to it, looked it dead in the eye and given it an impish wink.

Thomas celebrated her 100th birthday Dec. 30, surrounded by friends and family at Hull Road…

0109-sybil2.jpg

January 09, 2019

 

Q: I don’t think my mom ever used anything other than salt, pepper, and cinnamon to flavor food. She said it was silly and expensive to a container and then use only ¼ teaspoon. I am intrigued by the possibility that some herbs might be helpful in controlling inflammation. Can…

Kolasa, Kathy

January 06, 2019

It was in 1983 that parents told leaders of the Diocese of Lafayette, Louisiana, west of New Orleans, that Father Gilbert Gauthe had molested their sons.

Dominos started falling. The bishop offered secret settlements to nine families — but one refused to remain silent.

The rest is a long,…

Terry Mattingly

January 06, 2019

What really happened to Virginia Dare, the first child of English parents born in the New World? The same Virginia Dare whom I suggested recently belonged on “The World Almanac’s” list of famous North Carolinians.

A few weeks ago I wrote about Sir Walter Raleigh’s…

DGMartin.jpg

January 06, 2019

In a year filled with heightened political vitriol, two deaths brought the nation together to remember men who represented a seemingly bygone era of U.S. politics.

George H.W. Bush was a president, vice president, congressman, CIA director and Navy pilot during World War II, where he flew 58…

YE Deaths

January 05, 2019

For to make chireseye, tak chiryes at þe feast of Seynt Iohn þe Baptist, & do awey þe stonys …

— Hieatt, Constance B. and Sharon Butler. Curye on Inglish: English Culinary Manuscripts of the Fourteenth-Century (Including the Forme of Cury). New York: for The Early…

pruncaro.jpg
134 stories in Look. Viewing 1 through 10.
«First Page   «Previous Page        
Page 1 of 14
        Next Page»   Last Page»