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BYH, first they came for the immigrants, refugees and migrants, but I did not speak up because I was none of those....

Short Answers, May 20

Short Answers
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Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, May 20, 2018

GET A GRIP, GIRLS

Dear Short Answers: There is a woman in town who is a stay-at-home mom with three children. Every year (actually, three times a year), she throws the most lavish birthday parties for her kids. It makes the rest of us moms look like slackers. Every year, our own kids ask why they can’t have a party like her kids do. How do we convince her that her parties are over-the-top and making us all look bad? — The Rest of Us

Dear The Rest: You don’t convince her — you convince yourself that whatever you are doing is fine. This is only the first time that your kids will want what some other kid has. There are exactly a million iterations of this situation. The answer is all about you — not the other kid. Or the other mother.

CAVEAT EMPTOR

Dear Short Answers: I recently started dating a woman, and we seem to really hit it off. But I just found out that she is living with (and I really mean living with) another woman. She has invited me back to her house and hinted that we might get into a three-some with her “roommate.” I am kind of curious and more than a little bit turned on but not sure if this kind of thing ever really works out. Do you think people can truly be bisexual? I don’t want to be the one who gets hurt in this situation. — John Doe

Dear Doe: It depends on what you mean by “works out.” If you are looking for a serious relationship with this woman, we think she has just told you that is not a possibility. If you are looking for a potentially interesting experience, it’s a definite “maybe.” But be clear — it is an erotic adventure and not an affair of the heart. Hint: Sense of humor always helpful in these situations.

J’ACCUSE?

Dear Short Answers: There is a casual friend that I run into often, and every time she says “oh we must have dinner and get to know each other better.” Several times, I called her back and she was either busy or didn’t return my call. So now when I see her and she says this, it makes me mad because I know she’s being completely insincere. Would it be appropriate for me to point this out to her? It would certainly make me feel better. — Annoyed

Dear A: Why do you assume that it is your responsibility to make her dream come true? If she wants to get to know you, and perhaps she does, let her offer an invitation. You could start the ball rolling with an accusation of insincerity — but it might be better to say, “call me with some options.”

TIME WILL TELL

Dear Short Answers: How do I know when a relationship is really over? I keep hoping that my boyfriend will realize what he lost and come back to me. I’m just not sure how long I should keep the door open before I hook up with somebody else. — Still Love Him

Dear Still: This certainly depends on how long you were together. We think you should wait longer than two weeks, but after that. let your heart and mind be open to new possibilities.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.

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Humans of Greenville

@HumansofGville

Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.

Look

November 16, 2018

A tale of two lovers, set in Sweden, will come to the stage tonight as East Carolina University Opera Theater presents “A Little Night Music” for its fall performance.

“A Little Night Music,” written by author Hugh Wheeler with music by Stephen Sondheim, is a love story that…

111618gofallopera

November 14, 2018

Q I didn’t grow up eating berries. They taste good, but is there a nutrition reason for eating them? — FJ, Greenville

A We are lucky to see a greater variety of berries — fresh, dried, canned and frozen — in our local stores than before. Children and…

Kolasa, Kathy

November 11, 2018

Losing a child before his or her first birthday is an unthinkable tragedy for any parent — and unfortunately it occurs too often in North Carolina, where we far outpace the nation in infant mortality.

With over seven deaths per 1,000 live births vs. the national average of fewer than six per…

Anita Bachmann

November 11, 2018

WINTERVILLE — Approximately 300 people gathered in the South Central High School cafeteria recently to celebrate their time as students at Winterville High School. The school, which was built in 1935, has served as A.G. Cox Middle School since 1971.

“The first Saturday in November has…

1107-WHSReunion2.jpg

November 10, 2018

The year is old, the birds are flown.

And yet the world, in its distress,

Displays a certain loveliness —

 — John Updike, from “A Child’s Calendar”

Autumn has once again snuck up upon us, as it always does.

Autumn is known mostly as a time of cooling temperatures,…

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November 07, 2018

Q Would you please help spread the word about our upcoming event that will celebrate the successes of people in Pitt County who are eating healthy, being physically active and managing their own diabetes.  JS, Pitt County.

A Jackie Sugg MS, RDN, LDN is a long time friend and colleague from the…

Kolasa, Kathy

November 07, 2018

Bateeni Mediterranean Grill & Cafe at 1868 W. Arlington Blvd. in Greenville is a healthy escape for those seeking fresh and delicious food that will keep your taste buds and body fulfilled. They offer an array of authentic Mediterranean cuisine using their centuries old traditions of combining…

Mixed Grill Close Up.jpg

November 05, 2018

Drivers needed

The Pitt County Council on Aging is in need of volunteers to help deliver Meals on Wheels in Ayden and Bethel Monday through Friday. Drivers will provide lunch for homebound older adults. Route delivery takes about an hour. Training is provided. Call 752-1717.

Bell ringers needed

The…

November 04, 2018

North Carolina’s long literary tradition lives on and was celebrated with presentation of the North Carolina Book Awards at the Greenville Convention Center last week. ECU’s Charles Ewen was among those honored.

The awards, held on Oct. 26, are presented annually by the North Carolina…

Charlie Ewen.jpg

November 04, 2018

Why would I ask you to read from a column I wrote almost 30 years ago?

When I read that column, tearfully, at a recent family reunion, I knew I wanted to share it with you, just in case you missed it back in 1987.

That year was one of triumph for my mother.

In 1933 she finished college and left her…

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