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BYH, first they came for the immigrants, refugees and migrants, but I did not speak up because I was none of those....

Short Answers, June 10

Short Answers
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Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, June 10, 2018

THE WAY OF THE WORLD CIRCA 2018

Dear Short Answers: I spent most of my life in the pre-cellphone era when it was possible to be inaccessible. This was an option I appreciated and often enjoyed. Today, I have a cellphone, but I sometimes turn it off when I don’t want to be … disturbed. Some of my family members and friends say I am being selfish, making their lives more difficult when they “need” to get in touch with me. I consider that expectation to be selfish on their parts. Who’s right? — Likes to Be Left Alone Sometimes

Dear Sometimes: Everyone deserves down time. Everyone needs to be accessible to family (most of all) and friends in real emergency situations. Make your preferences known. Email and phone settings allow for many options.

WHAT GROWN-UPS DO

Dear Short Answers: I am gay and have recently started dating a very nice man. I only found out through other people, not him, that he had been married to a woman. I’m not surprised, because he isn’t as interested in (or as good at) sex as all my previous boyfriends. I’m thinking that maybe he isn’t really gay but just trying this out because he had such an unhappy marriage. Is there any way I can find out if he’s “just experimenting?” I don’t want to waste my time if he is. — Not Interested in Test Driving

Dear Test Drive: This seems like the right time for a good old-fashioned conversation. Tell him exactly how you feel. He will either convince you, or he won’t. Either way, there should be no hurt feelings nor bitterness.

MEAN OR SPIRITED?

Dear Short Answers: I recently got married for the second time and one of the gifts I received from a close friend was a very expensive silver frame with a photo of me and my evil ex-husband. I’m not sure what to make of it. Should I just write a thank-you note for the frame and ignore the photo? Was it a mean-spirited joke? Or just mean-spirited? I can’t stop thinking about why a person would do such a thing. Don’t tell me to ignore it because I can’t. I want an explanation! — Angry

Dear Angry: If you want an explanation, you must ask for it! We encourage you to tell your friend that you were hurt and confused and would like to know the intent of the gift.

WE PROBABLY ARE NUTS!

Dear Short Answers: Not a question but a comment to a response (to Wannabe Me) regarding should he or should he not get a tattoo because his wife hates them. Well, I hate them and if my husband walked into the house and said “sorry but I got a tattoo anyhow” — that would be a relationship killer. You must be nuts! — Tattoo Hater

Dear Hater: We presume (apparently wrong in your case) that love is more than skin deep. Sorry sweetie.

THE WAY IT IS

Dear Short Answers: What is to be done about ungrateful children? — Disappointed

Dear Dis: Give less.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.

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Humans of Greenville

@HumansofGville

Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.

Look

November 16, 2018

A tale of two lovers, set in Sweden, will come to the stage tonight as East Carolina University Opera Theater presents “A Little Night Music” for its fall performance.

“A Little Night Music,” written by author Hugh Wheeler with music by Stephen Sondheim, is a love story that…

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November 14, 2018

Q I didn’t grow up eating berries. They taste good, but is there a nutrition reason for eating them? — FJ, Greenville

A We are lucky to see a greater variety of berries — fresh, dried, canned and frozen — in our local stores than before. Children and…

Kolasa, Kathy

November 11, 2018

Losing a child before his or her first birthday is an unthinkable tragedy for any parent — and unfortunately it occurs too often in North Carolina, where we far outpace the nation in infant mortality.

With over seven deaths per 1,000 live births vs. the national average of fewer than six per…

Anita Bachmann

November 11, 2018

WINTERVILLE — Approximately 300 people gathered in the South Central High School cafeteria recently to celebrate their time as students at Winterville High School. The school, which was built in 1935, has served as A.G. Cox Middle School since 1971.

“The first Saturday in November has…

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November 10, 2018

The year is old, the birds are flown.

And yet the world, in its distress,

Displays a certain loveliness —

 — John Updike, from “A Child’s Calendar”

Autumn has once again snuck up upon us, as it always does.

Autumn is known mostly as a time of cooling temperatures,…

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November 07, 2018

Q Would you please help spread the word about our upcoming event that will celebrate the successes of people in Pitt County who are eating healthy, being physically active and managing their own diabetes.  JS, Pitt County.

A Jackie Sugg MS, RDN, LDN is a long time friend and colleague from the…

Kolasa, Kathy

November 07, 2018

Bateeni Mediterranean Grill & Cafe at 1868 W. Arlington Blvd. in Greenville is a healthy escape for those seeking fresh and delicious food that will keep your taste buds and body fulfilled. They offer an array of authentic Mediterranean cuisine using their centuries old traditions of combining…

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November 05, 2018

Drivers needed

The Pitt County Council on Aging is in need of volunteers to help deliver Meals on Wheels in Ayden and Bethel Monday through Friday. Drivers will provide lunch for homebound older adults. Route delivery takes about an hour. Training is provided. Call 752-1717.

Bell ringers needed

The…

November 04, 2018

North Carolina’s long literary tradition lives on and was celebrated with presentation of the North Carolina Book Awards at the Greenville Convention Center last week. ECU’s Charles Ewen was among those honored.

The awards, held on Oct. 26, are presented annually by the North Carolina…

Charlie Ewen.jpg

November 04, 2018

Why would I ask you to read from a column I wrote almost 30 years ago?

When I read that column, tearfully, at a recent family reunion, I knew I wanted to share it with you, just in case you missed it back in 1987.

That year was one of triumph for my mother.

In 1933 she finished college and left her…

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