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BYH to my paper carrier! Passing my paper like a baton in a relay race absolutely made my day! Love you!...

Short Answers, June 10

Short Answers
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Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, June 10, 2018

THE WAY OF THE WORLD CIRCA 2018

Dear Short Answers: I spent most of my life in the pre-cellphone era when it was possible to be inaccessible. This was an option I appreciated and often enjoyed. Today, I have a cellphone, but I sometimes turn it off when I don’t want to be … disturbed. Some of my family members and friends say I am being selfish, making their lives more difficult when they “need” to get in touch with me. I consider that expectation to be selfish on their parts. Who’s right? — Likes to Be Left Alone Sometimes

Dear Sometimes: Everyone deserves down time. Everyone needs to be accessible to family (most of all) and friends in real emergency situations. Make your preferences known. Email and phone settings allow for many options.

WHAT GROWN-UPS DO

Dear Short Answers: I am gay and have recently started dating a very nice man. I only found out through other people, not him, that he had been married to a woman. I’m not surprised, because he isn’t as interested in (or as good at) sex as all my previous boyfriends. I’m thinking that maybe he isn’t really gay but just trying this out because he had such an unhappy marriage. Is there any way I can find out if he’s “just experimenting?” I don’t want to waste my time if he is. — Not Interested in Test Driving

Dear Test Drive: This seems like the right time for a good old-fashioned conversation. Tell him exactly how you feel. He will either convince you, or he won’t. Either way, there should be no hurt feelings nor bitterness.

MEAN OR SPIRITED?

Dear Short Answers: I recently got married for the second time and one of the gifts I received from a close friend was a very expensive silver frame with a photo of me and my evil ex-husband. I’m not sure what to make of it. Should I just write a thank-you note for the frame and ignore the photo? Was it a mean-spirited joke? Or just mean-spirited? I can’t stop thinking about why a person would do such a thing. Don’t tell me to ignore it because I can’t. I want an explanation! — Angry

Dear Angry: If you want an explanation, you must ask for it! We encourage you to tell your friend that you were hurt and confused and would like to know the intent of the gift.

WE PROBABLY ARE NUTS!

Dear Short Answers: Not a question but a comment to a response (to Wannabe Me) regarding should he or should he not get a tattoo because his wife hates them. Well, I hate them and if my husband walked into the house and said “sorry but I got a tattoo anyhow” — that would be a relationship killer. You must be nuts! — Tattoo Hater

Dear Hater: We presume (apparently wrong in your case) that love is more than skin deep. Sorry sweetie.

THE WAY IT IS

Dear Short Answers: What is to be done about ungrateful children? — Disappointed

Dear Dis: Give less.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.

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Humans of Greenville

@HumansofGville

Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.

Look

June 20, 2018

Q: Do you have suggestions for a diet to prevent calcium oxalate kidney stones? I have been getting conflicting information. — E.L., Greenville

A: I am pleased that Kara Massotti will answer your question. Kara returns to Greenville from her dietetic internship and master’s in nutrition…

June 20, 2018

Q I am afraid I may be a controlling mom of my young adult daughter, but we have a dynamic in which she seeks me out often, solicits my advice, and makes me too important in her life. I admit to offering that advice because it is hard for me to draw a line between healthy support and presence, and…

Carolyn Hax

June 20, 2018

When it's too hot to cook, try serving a big summery salad for your main meal. Not just a simple garden salad, but a satisfying bowl layered with crisp veggies, grains or legumes and fresh herbs. The combination is fresh, filling and light — guaranteed to hit the spot on a warm day.

This…

062018tastefood

June 18, 2018

Bug Hunt

River Park North, 1000 Mumford Road, will host Bug Hunt from 10-11:30 a.m. Saturday. Participants will take a 1.5-mile hike to search for insects. Cost is $3 for city residents and $5 for others. Call 329-4560.

Summer reading

Sheppard Memorial Library, 530 Evans St., and its branches will…

June 18, 2018

D.H. Conley High School has announced the following scholarship awards:

Tia Adkins – Greenville Pitt Educational Association

Jackson Allsbrook – St. James United Methodist Church Scholarship

Michael Arce – Pitt Community College Visions Scholarship

Nick Baldwin – East…

June 17, 2018

I recently sampled from the menus of 10 restaurants in Jacksonville, Snead’s Ferry and Swansboro, leaving the choice of dishes to the chefs and owners.

Not surprisingly, I was served shrimp and grits at eight of the 10 — at breakfast, lunch and dinner.

This has become a recurring theme…

Bob Garner

June 17, 2018

Q Our 15-year-old daughter has told us she’s in love with a 20-year-old guy who is in the Army and intending to make the Army his career. We’ve met him, and he is extremely respectful and well-mannered, and has told us he’s in love with her. We’ve made it clear to both of…

JohnRosemondGDR_177.jpg

June 17, 2018

Q Three of us ladies planned a trip to New York for two nights to see shows. We reserved a hotel room to share among us. Train and theater tickets were purchased ahead of time.

Several days before our planned departure, one person backed out because a relative was near death, and she needed to fly…

Carolyn Hax

June 17, 2018

FARMVILLE — Steve and Amber Dunn did not have a chance to hear their daughter’s first words. They never got to sit next to her crib at night and watch her sleep.

Mae was practically a teenager before they ever even heard her voice, a middle-schooler before she spent a single night…

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June 17, 2018

HABITS AND PRACTICES

Dear Short Answers: My soon-to-be wife converted to Catholicism when she married her second husband and he insisted that they raise their children in the Catholic church. Now that we are getting married, she is insisting that I convert. Since we are much too old to have…

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