Short Answers, June 10
Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson
Sunday, June 10, 2018
THE WAY OF THE WORLD CIRCA 2018
Dear Short Answers: I spent most of my life in the pre-cellphone era when it was possible to be inaccessible. This was an option I appreciated and often enjoyed. Today, I have a cellphone, but I sometimes turn it off when I don’t want to be … disturbed. Some of my family members and friends say I am being selfish, making their lives more difficult when they “need” to get in touch with me. I consider that expectation to be selfish on their parts. Who’s right? — Likes to Be Left Alone Sometimes
Dear Sometimes: Everyone deserves down time. Everyone needs to be accessible to family (most of all) and friends in real emergency situations. Make your preferences known. Email and phone settings allow for many options.
WHAT GROWN-UPS DO
Dear Short Answers: I am gay and have recently started dating a very nice man. I only found out through other people, not him, that he had been married to a woman. I’m not surprised, because he isn’t as interested in (or as good at) sex as all my previous boyfriends. I’m thinking that maybe he isn’t really gay but just trying this out because he had such an unhappy marriage. Is there any way I can find out if he’s “just experimenting?” I don’t want to waste my time if he is. — Not Interested in Test Driving
Dear Test Drive: This seems like the right time for a good old-fashioned conversation. Tell him exactly how you feel. He will either convince you, or he won’t. Either way, there should be no hurt feelings nor bitterness.
MEAN OR SPIRITED?
Dear Short Answers: I recently got married for the second time and one of the gifts I received from a close friend was a very expensive silver frame with a photo of me and my evil ex-husband. I’m not sure what to make of it. Should I just write a thank-you note for the frame and ignore the photo? Was it a mean-spirited joke? Or just mean-spirited? I can’t stop thinking about why a person would do such a thing. Don’t tell me to ignore it because I can’t. I want an explanation! — Angry
Dear Angry: If you want an explanation, you must ask for it! We encourage you to tell your friend that you were hurt and confused and would like to know the intent of the gift.
WE PROBABLY ARE NUTS!
Dear Short Answers: Not a question but a comment to a response (to Wannabe Me) regarding should he or should he not get a tattoo because his wife hates them. Well, I hate them and if my husband walked into the house and said “sorry but I got a tattoo anyhow” — that would be a relationship killer. You must be nuts! — Tattoo Hater
Dear Hater: We presume (apparently wrong in your case) that love is more than skin deep. Sorry sweetie.
THE WAY IT IS
Dear Short Answers: What is to be done about ungrateful children? — Disappointed
Dear Dis: Give less.
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