I see the 10th Street connector is nearing completion. Another three years to paint the lines and we will be on our way,...

Short Answers, July 1

Short Answers

Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, July 1, 2018


Dear Short Answers: After our third child was born, my wife decided that she wasn’t all that interested in sex anymore. She’s made it abundantly clear to me that it’s not my fault — she’s just not interested any more. There doesn’t seem to be anything that I can do to change her mind — and I’ve tried everything. Given her position, would it be wrong for me to fool around? And do you think I should tell her in advance? I don’t want it to sound like an ultimatum because I’m not planning on leaving her. I just don’t plan to be celibate for the rest of my life. — Horny Husband

Dear HH: Yes, you have a problem, but your solution makes it a car crash. She either has a physical or emotional issue that needs to be addressed. Start with her OB-GYN. If she is unwilling to discuss with her doctor then insist on counseling — for both of you.


Dear Short Answers: What do you think about taking a gap year between high school and college? My son wants to spend a year in Europe, which we can afford. But I’m afraid that he won’t eventually go to college if he stops going to school and enjoys himself too much. How do I give him this bit of freedom but make it miserable enough so that he goes back to school? — Nervous

Dear Nervous: For most kids, a gap year is a great growing up thing. And most parents share your fears. Our advice is to tell your son you have every confidence in him and that you respect his choices but you will provide modest living expenses for 12 months only. Then stick to both parts — modest and 12 months. Hopefully his college choice is squared away before his year abroad. So hard to assemble applications and so easy to miss deadlines while “traveling.”


Dear Short Answers: When is your child too old to bring into a public restroom of the opposite sex? I was in a men’s room yesterday and a man had brought his daughter with him who seemed to be about 5 or 6 years old. She was very inquisitive and asked very loudly “What are all these men doing?” Would I have been within my rights to ask the man to take his daughter someplace else? — Uncomfortable

Dear Uncomfortable: A little empathy please. And then a sense of humor. We can assume that there was no other reasonable choice and no person to leave her with — that’s the empathy part. And rather than ask the man to take his daughter elsewhere, you could have answered her question (that’s the humor part).


Dear Short Answers: I recently had some minor cosmetic surgery and all my friends have told me how great I look and ask me, “What’s your secret?” Should I tell them the truth or make something up? I hate to lie, but I don’t think it’s any of their business. — I Feel Pretty

Dear Pretty: Ain’t nobody’s business but your own. Say whatever … a good night’s sleep … or just smile.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.


Humans of Greenville


Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.


July 18, 2018

I am the queen of rustic desserts, which is a nice way to label desserts that are rather imperfect. The good news is that there is plenty of room for rustic and, yes, imperfect desserts in anyone's repertoire. In fact, most cuisines tout their own homey version of bubbling, squidgy desserts cobbled…


July 18, 2018

If you are looking for an unpretentious gathering place with tasty American and Irish pub food, plus karaoke, trivia and live music, then head over to A.J. McMurphy’s Irish Pub at 1914 Turnbury Drive. A.J. McMurphy’s is known for great domestic and imported beer, as well as an expansive…


July 18, 2018

Q: I like to try new foods and heard that nut butters are better for you than peanut butter. Is that true? — J.K., Greenville

A: There are of choices of nut butters, and many are being marketed with what I would call exaggerated claims. Many of the butters will tout their micronutrient…


July 18, 2018

Q My husband’s daughter just announced she and her boyfriend are getting married, and we are very happy for them. They are planning a wedding that is not out of line with the kinds of weddings their friends have been having, but that we consider over the top. The cost will likely exceed her…

Carolyn Hax

July 15, 2018


A TV viewer who I’ll call “Joe” recently commented on Facebook about my review of The Prime Smokehouse in Rocky Mount.

“Thanks for the review, Bob, but while I live in Raleigh, I'm a native of Rocky Mount,” Joe said with pride. “It once called itself the…

Bob Garner

July 14, 2018


■ Browns Chapel Holiness Church, 2260 N.C. 33 West, will host a youth service at 6 p.m. today. Evangelist Talitha Stallings will speak.

■ Burney’s Chapel Free Will Baptist Church, 2628 VOA Site B Road, will host its annual men’s day service at 11 a.m. July 22.

■ Burning Bush…

July 14, 2018

Mint, sage, rosemary, thyme, horehound, catnip, bee-balm, marjoram, pennyroyal, lemon-balm, hyssop, lavender, dittany and basil (is it BAY-zil or BAAA-zil?): what an aromatic bunch of plants these are! All of these are fragrant members of the widely distributed “mint” family, one of the…


July 11, 2018

The Leroy James Farmers Market vendor of the week is Yates and Bailey Bee Farm.

Yates and Bailey Bee Farm has been a vendor at the Leroy James Farmers Market for almost six years.

“I am a lifelong farmer,” said Bobby Yates, a Virginia native who got his first hive of bees at age 14.…


July 11, 2018

The smell and taste of food can catapult us back to our childhood, to a time when trips to family restaurants were weekly affairs, everyone knew our name, what our favorite drink was and how we liked our steak. The best part was the gleaming, rotating dessert wheel that was filled with every flavor…


July 11, 2018

Q I am trying to get more vegetables into my meals but still am struggling to make my goal. Got any suggestions? W.L., Winterville

A Congratulations on your efforts to improve your vegetable intake. As it happens, Kara Massotti, a new Registered Dietitian Nutritionist with ECU Family Medicine, just…

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