Greenville may have missed out on the new Amazon facility. One Amazon exec stated: "We wanted to go to Greenville but...

Short Answers, July 8

Short Answers

Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, July 8, 2018


Dear Short Answers: A couple of weeks ago, one of the guys I work with was fired. We’re not really friends but we hang out in the same places so we know a lot of the same people. He begged me not to tell anyone that he got fired because he didn’t want any of the girls to know that he wasn’t working. I didn’t mind lying for a while, but now it’s getting complicated when people ask me how work is going, etc. I know that I promised, but how long do I need to keep lying? It’s really starting to bother me. — Sue

Dear Sue: When someone asks you “how work is going,” it is safe to assume they mean how is work going for you and not a status report on employment for all others — especially for someone who is “not really a friend.” So we don’t get the “lying” part. We suggest a meditation on how you would feel about a colleague discussing your status at a bar — and go from there.


Dear Short Answers: My boyfriend (of 28 years) and I are planning to get married in NYC this summer. We were just planning to go to city hall, get a license and get married. No big affair and no big party. Since I had to tell people at work that I was taking the week off, I let it slip about the wedding.

A few people at work are now planning to come to NYC to help us celebrate. I said OK because I wasn’t thinking. Now I realize that there will be photos on Facebook and all my friends will find out that we got married but they weren’t invited.

Now I don’t know what to do. I can tell my friends at work not to come, but that will piss them off (especially since they’ve already bought plane tickets). Or I can try to explain to my real friends that we didn’t really invite anybody — but I’m not sure they will believe me. How should I handle this so that it doesn’t spiral out of control? — Help!

Dear Help: Calm down and discuss with BF (of 28 years). If you really want it to be a private affair, then the two of you should draft a note to your work folk (and perhaps friends and family) and tell them of your wishes … or belly up and plan a party and make the decisions all couples do about who is in and who is not.


Dear Short Answers: I’m at an age (let’s just say over 60) where I just don’t feel like being nice to people I don’t like. Or going to a party with a bunch of boring geezers. My husband says that I’m turning into a cranky old lady. I think I’m just being honest and true to myself. What do you think? — No Sweetie

Dear Sweetie: No doubt you are both right — you are being “honest and true to yourself” and perhaps you are getting cranky. The question is, are you OK with being “honest” but alone?

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.


Humans of Greenville


Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.


November 14, 2018

Q I didn’t grow up eating berries. They taste good, but is there a nutrition reason for eating them? — FJ, Greenville

A We are lucky to see a greater variety of berries — fresh, dried, canned and frozen — in our local stores than before. Children and…

Kolasa, Kathy

November 11, 2018

Losing a child before his or her first birthday is an unthinkable tragedy for any parent — and unfortunately it occurs too often in North Carolina, where we far outpace the nation in infant mortality.

With over seven deaths per 1,000 live births vs. the national average of fewer than six per…

Anita Bachmann

November 11, 2018

WINTERVILLE — Approximately 300 people gathered in the South Central High School cafeteria recently to celebrate their time as students at Winterville High School. The school, which was built in 1935, has served as A.G. Cox Middle School since 1971.

“The first Saturday in November has…


November 10, 2018

The year is old, the birds are flown.

And yet the world, in its distress,

Displays a certain loveliness —

 — John Updike, from “A Child’s Calendar”

Autumn has once again snuck up upon us, as it always does.

Autumn is known mostly as a time of cooling temperatures,…


November 07, 2018

Q Would you please help spread the word about our upcoming event that will celebrate the successes of people in Pitt County who are eating healthy, being physically active and managing their own diabetes.  JS, Pitt County.

A Jackie Sugg MS, RDN, LDN is a long time friend and colleague from the…

Kolasa, Kathy

November 07, 2018

Bateeni Mediterranean Grill & Cafe at 1868 W. Arlington Blvd. in Greenville is a healthy escape for those seeking fresh and delicious food that will keep your taste buds and body fulfilled. They offer an array of authentic Mediterranean cuisine using their centuries old traditions of combining…

Mixed Grill Close Up.jpg

November 05, 2018

Drivers needed

The Pitt County Council on Aging is in need of volunteers to help deliver Meals on Wheels in Ayden and Bethel Monday through Friday. Drivers will provide lunch for homebound older adults. Route delivery takes about an hour. Training is provided. Call 752-1717.

Bell ringers needed


November 04, 2018

North Carolina’s long literary tradition lives on and was celebrated with presentation of the North Carolina Book Awards at the Greenville Convention Center last week. ECU’s Charles Ewen was among those honored.

The awards, held on Oct. 26, are presented annually by the North Carolina…

Charlie Ewen.jpg

November 04, 2018

Why would I ask you to read from a column I wrote almost 30 years ago?

When I read that column, tearfully, at a recent family reunion, I knew I wanted to share it with you, just in case you missed it back in 1987.

That year was one of triumph for my mother.

In 1933 she finished college and left her…


November 04, 2018

SNOW HILL — It takes a dedicated pit master to grill a 128-pound hog in the middle of a nor’easter. That’s exactly what 12 faithful and talented competitors did last week at the third annual BBQ for Paw fundraiser in Snow Hill.

Thanks to the perseverance and hard work of the cooks,…

1031-BBQ paws2.jpg
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