I see the 10th Street connector is nearing completion. Another three years to paint the lines and we will be on our way,...

Short Answers, July 8

Short Answers

Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, July 8, 2018


Dear Short Answers: A couple of weeks ago, one of the guys I work with was fired. We’re not really friends but we hang out in the same places so we know a lot of the same people. He begged me not to tell anyone that he got fired because he didn’t want any of the girls to know that he wasn’t working. I didn’t mind lying for a while, but now it’s getting complicated when people ask me how work is going, etc. I know that I promised, but how long do I need to keep lying? It’s really starting to bother me. — Sue

Dear Sue: When someone asks you “how work is going,” it is safe to assume they mean how is work going for you and not a status report on employment for all others — especially for someone who is “not really a friend.” So we don’t get the “lying” part. We suggest a meditation on how you would feel about a colleague discussing your status at a bar — and go from there.


Dear Short Answers: My boyfriend (of 28 years) and I are planning to get married in NYC this summer. We were just planning to go to city hall, get a license and get married. No big affair and no big party. Since I had to tell people at work that I was taking the week off, I let it slip about the wedding.

A few people at work are now planning to come to NYC to help us celebrate. I said OK because I wasn’t thinking. Now I realize that there will be photos on Facebook and all my friends will find out that we got married but they weren’t invited.

Now I don’t know what to do. I can tell my friends at work not to come, but that will piss them off (especially since they’ve already bought plane tickets). Or I can try to explain to my real friends that we didn’t really invite anybody — but I’m not sure they will believe me. How should I handle this so that it doesn’t spiral out of control? — Help!

Dear Help: Calm down and discuss with BF (of 28 years). If you really want it to be a private affair, then the two of you should draft a note to your work folk (and perhaps friends and family) and tell them of your wishes … or belly up and plan a party and make the decisions all couples do about who is in and who is not.


Dear Short Answers: I’m at an age (let’s just say over 60) where I just don’t feel like being nice to people I don’t like. Or going to a party with a bunch of boring geezers. My husband says that I’m turning into a cranky old lady. I think I’m just being honest and true to myself. What do you think? — No Sweetie

Dear Sweetie: No doubt you are both right — you are being “honest and true to yourself” and perhaps you are getting cranky. The question is, are you OK with being “honest” but alone?

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.


Humans of Greenville


Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.


July 18, 2018 - 43 minutes ago

I am the queen of rustic desserts, which is a nice way to label desserts that are rather imperfect. The good news is that there is plenty of room for rustic and, yes, imperfect desserts in anyone's repertoire. In fact, most cuisines tout their own homey version of bubbling, squidgy desserts cobbled…


July 18, 2018 - 43 minutes ago

If you are looking for an unpretentious gathering place with tasty American and Irish pub food, plus karaoke, trivia and live music, then head over to A.J. McMurphy’s Irish Pub at 1914 Turnbury Drive. A.J. McMurphy’s is known for great domestic and imported beer, as well as an expansive…


July 18, 2018 - 43 minutes ago

Q: I like to try new foods and heard that nut butters are better for you than peanut butter. Is that true? — J.K., Greenville

A: There are of choices of nut butters, and many are being marketed with what I would call exaggerated claims. Many of the butters will tout their micronutrient…


July 18, 2018 - 43 minutes ago

Q My husband’s daughter just announced she and her boyfriend are getting married, and we are very happy for them. They are planning a wedding that is not out of line with the kinds of weddings their friends have been having, but that we consider over the top. The cost will likely exceed her…

Carolyn Hax

July 15, 2018


A TV viewer who I’ll call “Joe” recently commented on Facebook about my review of The Prime Smokehouse in Rocky Mount.

“Thanks for the review, Bob, but while I live in Raleigh, I'm a native of Rocky Mount,” Joe said with pride. “It once called itself the…

Bob Garner

July 14, 2018


■ Browns Chapel Holiness Church, 2260 N.C. 33 West, will host a youth service at 6 p.m. today. Evangelist Talitha Stallings will speak.

■ Burney’s Chapel Free Will Baptist Church, 2628 VOA Site B Road, will host its annual men’s day service at 11 a.m. July 22.

■ Burning Bush…

July 14, 2018

Mint, sage, rosemary, thyme, horehound, catnip, bee-balm, marjoram, pennyroyal, lemon-balm, hyssop, lavender, dittany and basil (is it BAY-zil or BAAA-zil?): what an aromatic bunch of plants these are! All of these are fragrant members of the widely distributed “mint” family, one of the…


July 11, 2018

The Leroy James Farmers Market vendor of the week is Yates and Bailey Bee Farm.

Yates and Bailey Bee Farm has been a vendor at the Leroy James Farmers Market for almost six years.

“I am a lifelong farmer,” said Bobby Yates, a Virginia native who got his first hive of bees at age 14.…


July 11, 2018

The smell and taste of food can catapult us back to our childhood, to a time when trips to family restaurants were weekly affairs, everyone knew our name, what our favorite drink was and how we liked our steak. The best part was the gleaming, rotating dessert wheel that was filled with every flavor…


July 11, 2018

Q I am trying to get more vegetables into my meals but still am struggling to make my goal. Got any suggestions? W.L., Winterville

A Congratulations on your efforts to improve your vegetable intake. As it happens, Kara Massotti, a new Registered Dietitian Nutritionist with ECU Family Medicine, just…

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