Short Answers, Aug. 26
Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson
Sunday, August 26, 2018
Dear Short Answers: I got divorced over 20 years ago from a woman with whom I had a pretty rocky 10-year marriage. We still bump into each other (accidentally) from time to time, and we’re cordial to each other.
Last week, I received a packet of photos in the mail from her that had been taken during our marriage. Each one had her face cut out or the photo was cut in half so I assume she cut off the picture of herself. She included a note that said “Stop stalking me!” Believe me, I have never stalked her and would avoid her completely if I could.
Do you think I should call her and explain this or just ignore it and pretend she doesn’t exist if I ever bump into her again? — Don
Dear Don: No wonder you divorced her. Don’t speak to her. Ever.
THE LESS SAID, THE BETTER
Dear Short Answers: A good friend of mine recently passed away very suddenly, and a bunch of his friends (including me) decided to go to a strip club to “celebrate” because we all knew that he went there often. He even had a couple of favorite strippers who we tipped generously that night. His wife, unfortunately, was appalled. Apparently, she didn’t know that he frequented this place and she thought our behavior was disgusting. Should I try to explain why we went there or just let her think we are all insensitive idiots? — FOB
Dear FOB: Live with the “insensitive idiot” tag. Explaining will only dig a deeper hole.
NOTHING IS FAIR IN LOVE OR WAR
Dear Short Answers: My girlfriend and I decided to get married and started to plan the wedding about a year ago. As soon as we set the date, we put down deposits on a room, a caterer, a band, etc. Neither of us has much money so we decided to split everything 50/50.
About a month ago, she told me that she changed her mind and doesn’t want to marry me after all. She won’t return my phone calls so I’m left trying to cancel everything and get some of the money back. Since she was the one who changed her mind, I feel like I should get all my money back first and if there is anything left over, send it to her (if I can find her). Do you think that’s fair? — KD
Dear KD: Your solution smacks of revenge. So be it, if it makes you feel better, but “fair” is hard to determine.
TOO LATE NOW
Dear Short Answers: If you invite a lot of people to your house for a party but then decide that you don’t want to have a party after all, is there a nice way to cancel? Should I make up an excuse or admit that I just changed my mind? — Don’t Want to Bother
Dear Don’t: We think you are on the hook for this one. Have the party — and next time you decide to entertain, take a nap instead.
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