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BYH, first they came for the immigrants, refugees and migrants, but I did not speak up because I was none of those....

Short Answers, Sept. 2

Short Answers
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Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, September 2, 2018

SO MUCH FOR FRIENDSHIP

Dear Short Answers: A woman at work is getting married next year and has been asking me for a lot of advice about her wedding plans since I recently got married myself. I planned my wedding for almost two years and it was amazing. So I don’t feel like I should give away all of my hard work for free. Would it be rude of me to ask for a wedding consultant fee? I know she can afford it. — Recently Wed

Dear RW: Yes, it would be incredibly rude to ask for a fee. If you don’t want to share your experience, then suggest she hire a professional planner.

A HOME NOT A HOTHOUSE

Dear Short Answers: A number of my friends have started using those new electronic cigarettes. I realize that they don’t emit any smoke and are safe for other people to be around. But I still find them annoying and don’t want my children to think that they’re OK to use since they still, as far as I know, have nicotine in them and can cause cancer. So I don’t allow anyone to “smoke” them in my home. Most friends comply, but I have one friend who makes a big fuss and thinks I’m crazy. It’s my home. Can’t I make the rules? — MY House

Dear MY: Yes, it’s your house, and yes, you get to make the rules, but we think you’re crazy, too. If you want to share your home with others, you have to give them some breathing room. Your kids are going to see this elsewhere — why don’t you use this as an opportunity for a teaching moment?

YESTERDAY’S NEWS

Dear Short Answers: Is there a statute of limitations on cheating on your wife? I had one single affair over 10 years ago and she still won’t let me forget it. Every time we have an argument, this affair somehow pops us as proof that I’m an asshole. Don’t you think it’s time she forgot about it? — Tired of It

Dear Tired: We agree. It’s time for her to let it go.

CENTS AND SENSIBILITY

Dear Short Answers: My daughter is turning 5 next month which is a very important event in my family (my parents were born in Japan). We are going to Disney World to celebrate, which is rather expensive for all of us, but my parents want to pay for the trip. I didn’t invite my in-laws because I know that they can’t afford it, but they would come anyway and have huge bills to pay afterward. Do you think I’m doing the right thing by not inviting them? I know they’ll be angry, but I think that’s better than going into debt just to go to a birthday party. — Anxious Mom

Dear Mom: It doesn’t feel right not to invite your in-laws on the presumption that they cannot afford it. This is the kind of thing some people never get over. Perhaps you can find a face-saving way to spare them some of the expense. Pay their airfare as an early Christmas present? Rent a house that is large enough for everyone? Whatever you decide to do, you cannot ignore them or their feelings.

EASY ONE

Dear Short Answers: I absolutely hate Facebook and refuse to be on it. Is there any reason why I need to be? — LKS

Dear LKS: No.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.

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Humans of Greenville

@HumansofGville

Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.

Look

November 16, 2018

A tale of two lovers, set in Sweden, will come to the stage tonight as East Carolina University Opera Theater presents “A Little Night Music” for its fall performance.

“A Little Night Music,” written by author Hugh Wheeler with music by Stephen Sondheim, is a love story that…

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November 14, 2018

Q I didn’t grow up eating berries. They taste good, but is there a nutrition reason for eating them? — FJ, Greenville

A We are lucky to see a greater variety of berries — fresh, dried, canned and frozen — in our local stores than before. Children and…

Kolasa, Kathy

November 11, 2018

Losing a child before his or her first birthday is an unthinkable tragedy for any parent — and unfortunately it occurs too often in North Carolina, where we far outpace the nation in infant mortality.

With over seven deaths per 1,000 live births vs. the national average of fewer than six per…

Anita Bachmann

November 11, 2018

WINTERVILLE — Approximately 300 people gathered in the South Central High School cafeteria recently to celebrate their time as students at Winterville High School. The school, which was built in 1935, has served as A.G. Cox Middle School since 1971.

“The first Saturday in November has…

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November 10, 2018

The year is old, the birds are flown.

And yet the world, in its distress,

Displays a certain loveliness —

 — John Updike, from “A Child’s Calendar”

Autumn has once again snuck up upon us, as it always does.

Autumn is known mostly as a time of cooling temperatures,…

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November 07, 2018

Q Would you please help spread the word about our upcoming event that will celebrate the successes of people in Pitt County who are eating healthy, being physically active and managing their own diabetes.  JS, Pitt County.

A Jackie Sugg MS, RDN, LDN is a long time friend and colleague from the…

Kolasa, Kathy

November 07, 2018

Bateeni Mediterranean Grill & Cafe at 1868 W. Arlington Blvd. in Greenville is a healthy escape for those seeking fresh and delicious food that will keep your taste buds and body fulfilled. They offer an array of authentic Mediterranean cuisine using their centuries old traditions of combining…

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November 05, 2018

Drivers needed

The Pitt County Council on Aging is in need of volunteers to help deliver Meals on Wheels in Ayden and Bethel Monday through Friday. Drivers will provide lunch for homebound older adults. Route delivery takes about an hour. Training is provided. Call 752-1717.

Bell ringers needed

The…

November 04, 2018

North Carolina’s long literary tradition lives on and was celebrated with presentation of the North Carolina Book Awards at the Greenville Convention Center last week. ECU’s Charles Ewen was among those honored.

The awards, held on Oct. 26, are presented annually by the North Carolina…

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November 04, 2018

Why would I ask you to read from a column I wrote almost 30 years ago?

When I read that column, tearfully, at a recent family reunion, I knew I wanted to share it with you, just in case you missed it back in 1987.

That year was one of triumph for my mother.

In 1933 she finished college and left her…

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