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'BYH' to the GOP, working on their new motto, "We don't mind if a man tries to rape you, we only care if you don't want...

Short Answers, Sept. 9

Short Answers
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Paula Forman and Jeff Johnson

Sunday, September 9, 2018

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

Dear Short Answers: I’ve been a friend of Mary Claire’s for five years now. Her daughter is getting married and does not want any of her former coaches or teachers present (my husband is one of them). Mary Claire asked if I can attend as the guest of another friend (female) of ours who was also invited alone. She said she hopes my husband will understand, acknowledging that this is indeed awkward, yet making it clear that it is her daughter’s wedding and naturally, the bride rules.

I have been leaning toward not attending; however, my husband, a very sound person and not hurt by any of this, knows how immature the daughter is and feels I may disappoint Mary Claire if I do not attend the wedding as our friend’s guest. While I understand that I must “follow the rules” in this situation, I know that I won’t be comfortable addressing innocent inquiries at the wedding as to why my husband is not present. Way too much to think about here, and I’m not even the bride! LOL! So, my ask is this: Go or not go and why? — Betty

Dear Betty: Go to the wedding. If people ask where your husband is, say he wasn’t invited. Simple.

DON'T ASK, NEVER TELL

Dear Short Answers: I know that I shouldn’t have told him, but I admitted to my boyfriend that I had sex with quite a few guys before I met him. Now, he can’t stop talking about it. When we have sex, he asks me how he “rates.” When we don’t have sex, he asks me if I had enough with my previous flames. I’ve told him several times that that part of my life is over, but he won’t leave well enough alone. Do you think he’ll get over it one day or is this a warning sign that we should break up now? — Sorry

Dear Sorry: When a new partner asks about past sex, the least information is always best. It is kind of like the “do I look fat?” question. Now that you’ve spilled the beans (and obviously made him insecure), devote a few weeks to restoring his confidence.

TRUTH TIME

Dear Short Answers: I have three sisters and two brothers, and we are all over 50. Some of my siblings have made bad financial, career and education choices in their lives and are paying the price for it now. Several of them have asked for major “loans” from me. And when I say “major” I mean more than $25,000. I can afford to do it, but I’m afraid that “lending” them the money will make our sensitive relationship even worse. Is it better to lend the money and risk never getting it back, or should I force them to fend for themselves? — “Richie Rich”

Dear Rich: We hear you clearly that “loans” are not “loans,” they are gifts. Now, how do you feel about it? How do your sibs feel about it? Be clear with them — and with yourself. Gift, not loan. Get it?

IMMUTABLE LAW OF NATURE

Dear Short Answers: I caught my friend cheating on his girlfriend. Should I tell her? — Pete

Dear Pete: No, she will find out in time. Everyone does.

Life is complicated. “Short Answers” isn’t. Send a question about whatever is bothering you to reflector@shortanswers.net or go to www.shortanswers.net and a psychologist and sociologist will answer. A selection of the best questions will be printed every Sunday in The Daily Reflector.

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Humans of Greenville

@HumansofGville

Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.

Look

September 21, 2018

EVENT CHANGES

In the aftermath of Hurricane Florence, several area events have been postponed or canceled.

Games Meet Art

The Greenville Museum of Art has canceled Saturday’s Games Meet Art event. No new date has been scheduled. Call 758-1946, email info@gmoa.org or visit gmoa.org for more…

September 21, 2018

Capsules of movies playing locally. New releases are indicated with an asterisk.

CHRISTOPHER ROBIN — A working-class family man, Christopher Robin, encounters his childhood friend Winnie-the-Pooh, who helps him to rediscover the joys of life. (1 hour, 44 minutes) Rated PG.

CRAZY RICH…

092118lifeitself

September 21, 2018

Q My 15-year-old son and his stepmom, my wife of eight years, have developed such a contentious relationship that I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s not a bad kid but has a history of lying about grades, schoolwork and some really silly things like cleaning his room.

I’ve been…

Carolyn Hax

September 21, 2018

Auditions

Magnolia Arts Center, 1703 E. 14th St., will have auditions for “Elf Jr: The Musical” from 6-8 p.m. today and 3-6 p.m. Sunday. Ages 18 and younger are eligible to audition. Visit magnoliaartscenter.com to review the script or for more information.

GMA

The Greenville Museum of…

September 21, 2018

The Four Seasons Chamber Music Festival will begin its 19th season with concerts on Thursday and Sept. 28. Here are highlights of the festival:

Greenville Concert Season

■ Season Opening Extravaganza: 7 p.m. Thursday, 8 p.m. Sept. 28, A.J. Fletcher Recital Hall

■ The Miraculous Bartok:…

September 21, 2018

The 19th season of the Four Seasons Chamber Music Festival will feature internationally acclaimed artists that include a Grammy Award-winning soloist, musicians who have performed at Carnegie Hall and Lincoln Center and faculty from the country's most prestigious music schools.

And that is just for…

092118fourseasons

September 19, 2018

The Leroy James Farmers Market vendor of the week is Nooherooka Natural.

Nooherooka Natural is dedicated to providing quality beef and pork products throughout North Carolina and exhibiting good practices and stewardship for the earth while humanely caring for its livestock. Nooherooka Natural is a…

091918vendor

September 19, 2018

Q: I am trying to decide if I should buy an air fryer. What are the benefits and the downsides of using one? — T.N., Greenville

A: Several of our patients at ECU Family Medicine have told us how much they like the air fryer. I haven’t had an opportunity to use one yet. Dan Olson, a…

KathyKolasa

September 19, 2018

Some of the best restaurants in any given city can be found tucked away in strip malls on the outskirts of town. Well I have one that’s a real gem in the food scene, CPW’s Fine Food & Spirits, 2422 Stantonsburg Road in the Stanton Square shopping center. This casual, inviting…

091918hotdish

September 19, 2018

Q Over a decade, my salary has tripled (I’m quite well-paid now), my work hours and responsibilities have increased, and — because I’m so frequently tired or short on time — my “outsourcing” has increased, too. Think: frequent takeout, a dog-walker, cabs instead…

Carolyn Hax
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