Loading...
BYH, some see the glass as half empty. I say just get a smaller glass and quit complaining....

Pre-distressed glory: My scruffy look may make me rich

033119shoes.jpg
1 of 2

My lovingly pre-distressed sneakers feature authentic grass clippings.

Janet Storm.jpg
Loading…

Sunday, March 31, 2019

I’ve never been much of a fashion plate, but as I’ve grown older and gradually let my little dogs take over my life, my wardrobe has officially shifted from “dowdy but acceptable” to “A little worse for the wear.”

That used to depress me, but recently I learned that there may be a silver lining to my lack of glamor. It seems Gucci is marketing a new line of “pre-distressed” sneakers that look suspiciously similar to the condition of my own footwear. And get this — the shoes they are selling go for a whopping $870 per pair — or $930 for a high-top version.

My fortune is made.

This past weekend I did a quick once-over of my shoe collection and found almost every pair to be pre-distressed. For example, the pair of lime green Converse sneakers I wear when I weed whack growth surrounding back patio are ragged, stained and just generally falling apart. Ca-ching! I feel certain that some well-to-do individual (who probably pays a gardener to do the weed whacking) will be willing to fork over close to $1,000 in order to embrace their scruffy, authentic appeal.

My used-to-be white walking shoes are another potential cash bonanza. I got one of them stuck in the mud while strolling around with my canine companions Ollie and Einstein. By the time I extracted it, the stuck shoe was as black as midnight and I probably should have thrown it out. But a friend suggested I soak it in bleach them wash it, so I gave that method a try. Now one shoe is a grayish brown and other is a grayish white. I haven’t been wearing them because I thought they looked odd — but now I see they are stylishly mismatched and therefore all the more valuable. 

But wait — there’s more! I see no reason I should limit myself to shoes when the rest of my wardrobe also is so charmingly pre-distressed. Often when I take off a sweatshirt, I will throw it on my bed. Ollie and Einstein take that as an invitation to chew on the collar and cuffs of the garment. I have at least half a dozen Storm boy-customized shirts that should bring it top dollar. I would even be willing to take in other people’s sweatshirts and throw them on my bed so the boys could work their magic. 

Oh, I am going to be so rich.

I have seen pre-distressed jeans in the stores for years now, but the factory-created rips they sport are nothing compared to my own jeans, which have been worn through the old-fashioned way: crawling around on my hands and knees to retrieve dog toys from under the sofa and TV stand. I think I will leave a few doggie waste bags in the front pocket of the jeans when I sell them to add to the realistic vibe.

I also am researching ways to market the sweaters snagged by Einstein’s little claws and the T-shirts covered with Ollie’s dog hair. Talk about pre-distressed. The people who buy them won’t have to spend a minute trying to give them that lived-in feel.

This is going to be great. And the best thing is that with Ollie and Einstein around, I will never run out of clothing that is tattered, splattered and worn.

Maybe I ought to call Gucci.

One look at me, and they will know I’m a potential gold mine.

Contact Janet Storm at jstorm@reflector.com or 252-329-9587.

Loading…

Humans of Greenville

@HumansofGville

Local photographer Joe Pellegrino explores Greenville to create a photographic census of its people.

Look

September 11, 2019

Q: My daughter has been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. What lifestyle measures can help her? JF, Winterville

A: Yes, lifestyle changes can help your daughter and other women who are diagnosed with PCOS and can reduce some of the undesirable side effects. Chloe Opper, a Brody medical…

Kolasa, Kathy

September 11, 2019

Q: My daughter has been diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome. What lifestyle measures can help her? JF, Winterville

A: Yes, lifestyle changes can help your daughter and other women who are diagnosed with PCOS and can reduce some of the undesirable side effects. Chloe Opper, a Brody medical…

Kolasa, Kathy

September 11, 2019

“Like parent, like child” is an often-used idiom reflecting an individual’s tendency to carry on the traits of prior generations.

In the case of type 2 diabetes, take heart. While it does tend to run in families, lifestyle changes now can help one avoid, or at least delay, its…

Highlighting Your Health.jpg

September 11, 2019

Cucina LaMantia Sicilian Ristorante at 3700 S. Memorial Drive in front of Lowe’s has some exciting news for their customers. Starting Oct. 1, they will be serving lunch off a menu 11:30 a.m.-2 p.m. Tuesday-Saturday. 

They have been open for almost a year and in that time have built…

The Godfather Sandwich).jpg

September 06, 2019

More than six decades after the murder of a teenager became a rallying point for the civil rights movement, his memory is being preserved through the arts.

Emmett Till is the inspiration for both an exhibit and a dramatic production at ECU this month.

The African-American teen was beaten and shot…

090619goemmetttill

September 04, 2019

Summer is almost at its end, but that doesn’t mean you should stop eating healthy. You need to keep nourishing your body with fresh and wholesome foods that keep you fully charged and healthy during the long winter months. Let Bateeni Mediterranean Grill & Cafe at 1868 W. Arlington Blvd.…

HUMMUS.jpg

September 04, 2019

Q: I thought intermittent fasting was a fad diet, but I heard a reputable speaker talk about it. What do you think? RJ, Greenville.

A: Once considered a fad, intermittent fasting is the target for serious research. The results of new studies do not paint a clear picture for us. Connie Zhong, a…

5cff256e6c8fd.image.jpg

September 04, 2019

Q: I thought intermittent fasting was a fad diet, but I heard a reputable speaker talk about it. What do you think? RJ, Greenville.

A: Once considered a fad, intermittent fasting is the target for serious research. The results of new studies do not paint a clear picture for us. Connie Zhong, a…

5cff256e6c8fd.image.jpg

August 28, 2019

With a growing medical complex in Greenville, opportunities for careers in health care abound. For young people, there are ways to explore the options first-hand in high school.

The Pitt County Health Sciences Academy is a partnership between Pitt County Schools, Vidant Health, Pitt Community…

hsa1.jpg

August 28, 2019

Q: “I know that eating a diet high in sugar and sweets can lead to cavities, but are sugar substitutes actually better for your teeth? If so, what do you recommend?” AS, Ayden

A: We are fortunate to have a dental school at ECU, and Emory Byrd, a third-year student, wanted you to know a…

5cff256e6c8fd.image.jpg
95 stories in Look. Viewing 1 through 10.
«First Page   «Previous Page        
Page 1 of 10
        Next Page»   Last Page»