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Judging by the number of folks charged with driving under influence I am guessing the penalty is rather light. Of...

Sense and sensitivity: Aspiring blogger debates rejecting job offer

Harriette Cole

Harriette Cole

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Wednesday, April 10, 2019

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just got a job offer in a field that I don't love, but it will pay the bills. I have worked in this field already, so I have some experience. It's not a bad job, but it isn't my passion.

Part of me wants to reject the job offer and instead just work on the blog I have been building. I have been getting traction, and I'm earning a little bit of money from ad revenue. But I have rent to pay, and I am worried about having enough money. I want to work on my blog or enter a totally different field. Should I accept a well-paying job, even if it is not my dream? Or should I focus on my blog exclusively and see if I can monetize it enough to be able to afford my life? -- How to Work

DEAR HOW TO WORK: I'm old-school on this one: I recommend that you take the job and keep your focus. Do your best at your job, and devote ALL of your free time to developing your blog. Be super organized so that you make every moment count. Map out your schedule so that you dedicate a minimum of one hour each day to your blog. Figure out as many ways as you can to monetize it. Give yourself benchmarks to check in on your progress.

Meanwhile, be laser sharp while on your day job. Learn all that you can and stay focused on your work when you are there. Avoid talking about your extra-curricular interests.

And if you have another field of interest in mind, search online and talk to friends to learn about job opportunities in that area. Doing this when you have a job will help you to pay bills. It will likely make you more marketable. It is easier to be hired for a job when you already have one.

DECLUTTERING

DEAR HARRIETTE: Spring is here, and I'm trying to get rid of the clutter in my house. I have so much extra stuff that it's not even funny. I try to unload things, but it never quite works. I recently watched the Marie Kondo show on Netflix. She was showing families how to tidy up their homes. It looked like her process might work, but how am I going to get on her show? What can I do on my own to get the clutter out of my house? -- Clutter-Free

DEAR CLUTTER-FREE: You do not need to get on Marie Kondo's show in order to reduce clutter in your home. Consider following her process, which you can also find in her book, "The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing." But this is only one avenue. You can get help locally through ClutterersAnonymous.org, or even ask friends who are good at organizing to come over one day and help you clean out -- if you feel that you are able to let go enough to allow them in.

DINNER TIME

DEAR HARRIETTE: I cook dinner almost every night, except for when I am traveling or when we order in, which is rare. This week, I was working late and let my family know. Turns out I didn't get home until after 9 p.m., and my husband made dinner for himself and my daughter, but didn't think to prepare anything for me. He knew I would be working late. When I called and asked him to make me a plate as I was heading home, he said that he had served them leftovers and there was nothing left for me. He suggested I could warm up a cooked chicken and fix myself some vegetables. He did not offer to do anything for me and copped an attitude when I reminded him that I cook for him every night.

Why didn't my husband even consider that I might be hungry? He blew me off like I was wrong to ask. I ask him every night that he's running late if he wants dinner, so my feelings are hurt. Is there anything else I can say or do to get him to be more thoughtful? -- No Food for Me

DEAR NO FOOD FOR ME: My mother would say, "You have to train him," meaning you have to make it clear to your partner what you want or expect to avoid hurt feelings -- to the best of your ability. Since you are the one who almost always cooks dinner, your husband probably didn't think that you would need to eat. Is this an excuse? No, but it does give a window into his thinking. Chances are, if you didn't have a child, he might not have eaten himself.

Next time, try to tell him in the morning if you think you will be late, and ask him to prepare something for you and your child to eat. You can even remind him during the day. If he still flakes, it is time for a more serious conversation.

STRICTLY BUSINESS

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a client who keeps canceling on me at the last minute. We have worked together for years, so I always try to give her preferential treatment and accommodate her when she books me. But recently I have lost a couple of freelance gigs because I was holding time for her and she didn't let me know that she would not need me. She owns a small company, and she won't pay me if she forgets to cancel, even if I have reached out to her to ask her if she wanted to release the time. What should I do? I don't want to walk away from this client, but I can't afford to lose work out of allegiance to a company that doesn't have allegiance to me. -- Standing My Ground

DEAR STANDING MY GROUND: In the future, do not give up other work if this client -- or any other client -- is vacillating. Check in with the client that first reserved the time. If you do not get a response in a timely manner, accept the other job and let the initial client understand that you are no longer available at that particular time. Business is business. Keep it that clean.

Harriette Cole is a lifestyle writer and author, nationally syndicated advice columnist and motivational, wife and mother. She founded Dream Leapers, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com.

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