In the spirit of pundits who believe that President Barack Obama is pushing a Muslim socialist agenda, or those who still argue that former President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney took us to war to fulfill prophesy from the book of Revelation, I’d like to raise the possibility that former Gov. Mitt Romney, if elected, might well pursue a thinly veiled Mormon agenda.
I have a few ideas about what such an agenda might entail: Romney approves fracking across upstate New York in an effort to locate Joseph Smith’s lost golden plates. He supports gay marriage, but for men only, thereby reducing the male-to-female ratio to a point that polygamy makes better sense than monogamy. Romney forces the FDA to declare salt the national condiment and decaffeinated Coca-Cola completely safe.
He appoints Donnie Osmond secretary of defense while petitioning the American Dental Association to make teeth a weapon of war. Last but not least, Romney institutes a policy of forgiveness toward venture capitalists who take over ailing companies, fleece pension funds and dispossess former employees.
For the complete article, please pick up a copy of The Daily Reflector. Current home delivery and electronic edition subscribers may log in to access this article at no charge. To become a subscriber, please click here or contact Customer Service at (252) 329-9505.