Editor’s note: Dr. Susan Bane of Greenville has been exploring the topic of “Healthy Selfishness.” This is the eighth column in the series. To see previous columns, click on the following links: Column 1; column 2; column 3; column 4; column 5; column 6 part 1 and part 2; and column 7.

In last month’s column, I suggested strategies to help you be more mindful. This month, I’ll discuss how focusing on the “rhythm of our spirituality” leads to wholeness and health for our soul.

Health is defined as a balance between our physical, social, emotional and spiritual well-being. For us to truly attain optimal health, we must be aware of who we are deep in that part of our being that no other human understands. It is that place where we connect with God and, if mindful of his presence, can learn about him and ourselves more than any other way on this planet (including Oprah!).

I first heard the term “rhythm of our spirituality” this summer when I was a leader on the Life Teen Youth Mission Trip with St. Peter’s Catholic Church. We traveled to Pittsburgh, the city where one of our priests attended seminary. We sent out 20 vans of families (a leader and five or six teens) to give back to the city where our priest gave his vows. In the evening, we had powerful services and I remember hearing Joe Farris, our Life Teen leader, talk about the “rhythm of spirituality.” He was trying to convey to the teens that faith is not about mountain-peak to mountain-peak experiences of high emotions, rather true faith and connection to God consists of a day to day rhythm in which we become best friends with our Creator. While the message was for the teens, it hit home with the adults, also. Let me share how that week demonstrated to me strategies to strengthen our spiritual health and to be more mindful of God’s presence in our lives:

• Daily faith — I remember going through a particularly rough time when I was in my residency. I left the house before anyone was up and was on call every two or three nights. I was sleep deprived, exhausted and, needless to say, spent my time surviving and not strengthening my faith. I stopped getting up a few minutes early to read my Bible and journal and actually spent the time doing paper work. I remember feeling very distant from God. It was like I didn’t know him anymore and he sure must not know me. I had had a relationship with him in which I could freely talk to him, tell him my concerns and thank him for his help. Now, I felt like I was talking to air. I had lost that sense of calm or peace coming back to me during my conversations with him.

Then, one morning I went to daily mass at St. Peter’s. I sat in a different seat than normal. At St. Peter’s, there are beautiful wooden beams on the ceiling and where I usually sit, I can see Christ’s face behind the alter on the crucifix. But on that day, from the seat I chose, a wooden beam blocked Christ. I did not like not seeing him, so I moved back to “my regular” pew. As soon as I sat down and looked up, I saw Christ on the cross and I could feel God say to me, “You moved. I didn’t.” I took a double take and heard it again, “You moved. I didn’t.” I immediately knew that my feeling of distance from God was not because God had left me, rather I had left him. I had gotten out of my daily habits of time with him, trusting him and knowing him.

In order to maintain your spiritual health, find your rhythm of spirituality daily. Get in a pattern of thinking and doing that allows you to be whole spiritually. Don’t just attend invigorating conferences, revivals or concerts here and there and expect to be spiritually healthy. Make a plan and stick with it. Find time to read your Bible, pray without ceasing (talk to God as you drive to work, get ready for a big meeting or making supper). Surround yourself with people who want the same things you want. Talk to God through journaling. Be a part of a church.

• Are you all in? — On our retreat this summer, our group was privileged to hear from Righteous B, a Christian musician. He asked us the question, “Are you all in?” Is EVERYTHING you think and do in life surrounded by a trust in God? No matter what your circumstance, no matter how hopeless or happy you feel, are you all in for Christ?” It reminded me I am often “all in” when it is convenient or easy for me. Learn to trust God and give thanks in all situations (Romans 8:28) and he will give you that peace that passes all understanding.

• Embrace suffering — Embracing suffering is a difficult concept to grasp at times, but I realize that in the darkest and loneliest times of my life, I have come to know Christ best. It is then that I depend on him the most and realize how much I need him. If life was only peaches and cream, I know I would think it is all because Susan is so great and mighty. When I suffer, I become more like Christ — humble and in great need of a God who is so much smarter than I am or ever will be. If you are in a slump, struggling with illness, finances, anxiety, WHATEVER, realize Christ is with you, suffered too, and was healed. Thank God for allowing that time to make you more like Christ. We have all suffered at some point in our lives. Choose to find love and happiness in all situations because suffering is often mercy in disguise.

• Help others — In Pittsburgh, my “family” went to a food bank one day. As I was working, I struck up a conversation with a retired engineer with the steel industry who volunteers twice a week at the food pantry. He was thanking our group for coming to Pittsburgh from North Carolina to help his city. We talked about the benefits of charity and he shared with me a quote from a missionary named Mildred Binns Young. She said, “The hand that gives must touch the hand that receives.” That week our youth and adult volunteers truly touched many hands in need. While I have written checks over the years for various charities, this was my first mission trip and I truly benefited from “touching the hand that receives.” Mother Theresa once said, “The greatest poverty is to feel unwanted.” I can guarantee you that if you give of your time to those who feel unwanted, not only will you help them, but you will take a step closer to spiritual health and wholeness.

Dr. Susan Bane of Greenville is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist and a professor at Barton College.