In the last several columns, I have been writing about the negative effects of chronic stress on our lives. I’ve discussed the concept of “healthy selfishness” — taking care of yourself and not feeling guilty for doing it. Previous columns have focused on looking at ourselves, our home life and our work and determining helpful strategies we can use to release the stronghold stress often has on us. I have talked about eating smart, moving more and sleeping better.

In this column and the next, I am going to address the concept of mindfulness and focus on the critical need to understand the mind-body connection that is essential for health.

Mindfulness is defined by the online journal Psychology Today as “a state of active, open attention on the present. When you are mindful, you observe your thoughts and feelings from a distance, without judging them good or bad. Instead of letting your life pass you by, mindfulness means living in the moment and awakening to experience.”

Mindfulness involves the ability to be present with whatever or whoever you are with at a particular moment in time. You are completely engaged in a conversation at a social event instead of thinking about the next person you want to talk with. You are playing Chutes and Ladders with your children and not thinking about the errand you need to run. You are getting ready to eat a meal and are thinking of enjoying it, instead of reading or watching television while dining.

If you can’t relate to this, you are a rare breed in today’s society. From the moment the alarm clock goes off, many of us treat the day as if it is an emergency: take a shower, pack lunches, get the kids to the bus stop or school on time, stop by the coffee shop and hope the line is short, arrive at our job, work hard all day, leave to try to make our child’s afternoon game, drive-through for supper … and so on and so on. Because we have imposed this schedule on ourselves (and admit it, for the most part, it is our fault), we have lost the ability to live “in the now.” Let me give you a few suggestions to regain that gift and become more mindful.

Body check: Many of us have suppressed our own needs for so long, we are not even aware of the signals our bodies are giving us. Is our heart racing? Are our muscles tight? Is that heartburn from eating too fast? Why am I so tired? In her book “Consciously Female: How to Listen to your Body and your Soul for a Lifetime of Healthier Living,” Dr. Tracy Gaudet, director of the Duke Center for Integrative Medicine, says women are often “checked out” with regard to consciously understanding their body’s natural patterns and rhythms and often pay a high price for being oblivious to what is happening to their body and soul. She suggests we do a body check several times a day. We simply check in with our bodies to see how we feel. For example, start off first thing in the morning when the alarm clock goes off. Before you even get out of bed, ask yourself: What is the “state of my soul?” Are you alert? Do you feel a sense of purpose? Are you content? Or are you like I am about two days a month — mad at the world or downright “bitchy” for no reason at all. Since trying to become more aware of my body’s patterns, I have learned that, about the same time every month, I experience these feelings for a few days (and yes, it does coincide with other PMS symptoms). Instead of wondering why I feel so rotten, I just roll with it (and warn my husband). But, I also make sure I exercise, take time to journal and bite my tongue because, while I know my bad mood is a physiological process, it is not an excuse to bite everyone’s head off.

Put a Post-It note in your car, on your computer or on your cell phone to remind you to do a body check several times a day. Simply take a few seconds to listen to your body and how you feel at that moment. If you feel good, treasure that feeling. If your neck is stiff, stop working for a minute and do a few shoulder rolls. The first step to knowing what your body needs is being aware that it is talking to you (and sometimes screaming).

Smile: During your body check, add a smile to your face. You simply just feel better when you attach a smile to what you are doing.

Breathe: When we get in a hurry or are anxious, we start breathing more shallowly and almost pant. As a result, our body thinks it is in an emergency and our hearts begin to beat faster and muscles tighten (among other things). Learning to slow down and take a deep breath is vital to great health. Just breathe in slowly and deeply, hold for 2 counts and then release for an even longer time than you breathed in. When you breathe in, let your abdomen push forward (don’t hold it in) and when you exhale or breathe out, bring your abdomen back in toward your spine. Do that and you will actually slow your heart down and relax your muscles.

I love yoga for many reasons, but one of them is the emphasis on focusing on our breathing. An awareness to our breath has the ability to switch our body from the “fight or flight” mode of the sympathetic nervous system to the more calm, relaxed parasympathetic system that should dominate our day.

Think wisely: I believe control of our daily thoughts is our greatest strategy for personal health. Our thoughts control our lives and we have the choice to use them wisely or use them to commit psychological suicide. How we think has the power to affect our emotions, which then impacts our behaviors. Just think about a great hair day. Your thoughts are positive (I look great today), which leads to feelings of happiness and satisfaction which then affects your behavior that day; perhaps you are more talkative or interactive. Practice thinking wisely. Pay attention to your thoughts and think of thoughts like a paint brush. What picture do you want to create?

With these strategies at hand, you are well on your way to leading a more mindful life and new level of consciousness of your feelings and personal needs.

Dr. Susan Bane of Greenville is a board-certified obstetrician-gynecologist and a professor at Barton College.