Dear Abby: I’m 30 years old and have a close relationship with my mother, but something is bothering me. When I was a little girl, my grandmother gave me a U.S. savings bond for my birthday. It has matured to its full value. My mother refuses to give it to me. She said that my grandmother intended it as a wedding gift.

The last time I brought it up, she got teary and emotional. When my grandmother died 18 years ago, it was tremendously painful for my mother. I think the reason Mom won’t give me the money is it makes her feel like her mom is still around.

I also think it makes her sad to picture her mom not being there at my wedding. Despite all this, I can’t help but feel she’s using this to have some control over me.

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