Think of it as “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” but instead of a battle between husband-and-wife secret agents you have two spies going to war over a pretty blonde. So scratch Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie from the script and pencil in Chris Pine and Tom Hardy fighting over Reese Witherspoon.

The plot of “This Means War” is relatively simple: “Two top CIA operatives wage an epic battle against one another after they discover they are dating the same woman.”

I remember in high school having a facedown with a former friend who made a pass at my steady. Immature, in retrospect. I ended up marrying and divorcing her. He got off scot-free.

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