Touched by cancer, two families carry on

Last year, on what he thought might be his death bed, Dr. John Gibbs made a promise of sorts. If he made it through, this physician would never forget how it felt to be a patient battling cancer.

As they prayed for their son's life, Parham and Jennifer Stanley had a similar sentiment. Whatever was ahead for 2-year-old Beau, they would become proponents for parents of those fighting the disease.

In late November, Gibbs was back at work. Within the week, Beau was laid to rest. Though one life was taken and another one spared, both have become driving forces behind Beau's Buddies Cancer Fund.

The charity, designed to improve the lives of local cancer patients and their families, is planning its first fundraiser next month. A Sept. 21 dinner and auction, followed by a Sept. 22 golf tournament, will help finance Beau's Buddies, which has adopted the motto, “Friends Helping Friends.”

A small group of friends getting together for golf was what Gibbs had in mind when he lay in bed at Duke University Medical Center and dreamed of life after cancer. If he ever got strong enough to swing a club again, Gibbs had hoped to get 10 people to play a round and make a donation to Pitt County Memorial Hospital.

“It's not really something that I necessarily planned on being a big deal,” Gibbs said. “But cancer is a big deal.”

Diagnosed at age 38 after a CT scan he ordered for himself, Gibbs underwent chemotherapy and surgery for liposarcoma, a rare, malignant tumor. He lost 30 pounds and spent more than 40 days in the hospital, wondering if he would ever return to his practice at Greenville's East Carolina Neurology.

“My doctor always believed in me, but there were doctors that told me to more or less get my affairs in order,” Gibbs said. “I never thought I was ever going to be in remission.”

When doctors announced that he was, Gibbs had a list of things he wanted to do. Far from the daredevil “Bucket List” featured in the movie by the same name, Gibbs' goals were few.

“I basically wanted to do three things in my life with the rest of the time I had,” he said. “I wanted to go back to my practice for one day and to do some different things with people that I couldn't do before, based on some experiences I had by being a patient.

“The second thing I wanted to do, when people asked me about my story and what had happened to me, I wanted to tell them the peace the Lord has given me in my life during the worst time,” Gibbs said. “The third thing was to be a champion for people with cancer.”

To help him fulfill his ambition, two friends, Ben Parrott and Dr. Bryan Cooper — now members of the board for Beau's Buddies — introduced him to David Vaughn, a Greenville business owner who had been successful in raising money for a baseball field and playground for special-needs children.

Vaughn listened to Gibbs talk about wanting to help people who were battling cancer. Vaughn had personal knowledge of what families face; Parham Stanley works as a project manager for Vaughn's construction company. When he heard the Stanleys' story, Gibbs felt he had found a name for the new charity.

Beau's Buddies' golf tournament would be a tribute to the bald, blue-eyed toddler who loved to hit golf balls in the family's yard and ride the golf cart with his grandfather. Perhaps the only siren that called louder to 2-year-old Beau was that of a fire engine. Among the highlights of his young life were getting to ride in one and having firefighters climb a ladder to wave at him through the window of the hospital room, where Beau spent most of the last year of his life.

Beau was 17 months old when doctors diagnosed him with neuroblastoma, a relatively rare cancer of the sympathetic nervous system. Over the next year, he spent more than 200 days in the hospital.

“That's normal for some of these kids,” said Jennifer Stanley, a respiratory therapist at PCMH. “They all spend more of their time there than they spend at home.”

Organizers hope funding from Beau's Buddies can create a more home-like environment in hospitals for children and adults who must spend so much time there. The group hopes that even little things, like toys for the playroom or magazine subscriptions, can help make a difference.